Atta Boy!
by dinkydow
"Hey, Teal'c! C'mere," called Jack. He braced his feet against the insistent pull of the leash that was looped around his wrist. Sparing a quick glance over his shoulder, he noted that his friend had not yet answered his call.
Then he turned his attention to the small dog at the end of the leash. "Atta boy, son. You're doing me proud."
Once again, he called over his shoulder to his friend. "You gotta see this, Big Guy."
"What is it that you wish me to see?" Teal'c's body blocked the light shining through the open door, as his shadow co-mingled with patches of darkness that ghosted across Jack's backyard.
Jack smirked, and then pointed at the small Yorkie straining at the leash. "Look at my boy." His smile changed to a disappointed pout. "Aww, you missed it."
"What is the momentous event that I failed to observe?" Teal'c's face wore a mixture of confusion and impatience.
Jack gestured with his free hand. "This pup did his old man proud, it was a sight to see."
Teal'c remained silent his only response a raised eyebrow.
"He cocked his leg up when he peed, Teal'c."
"This is a major achievement?"
"Are you kidding? He always squatted before, but now he's lifting his leg when he pisses, just like the leader of the pack would." Jack puffed his chest out with pride.
"I see."
Like a fisherman reeling in a trout, O'Neill looped the leash around his wrist until the dog was standing at his feet, then scooped the little Yorkie into the crook of his arm and cradled him against his chest, at which point, the dog's pink tongue joyfully anointed Jack's neck and face with kisses.
"Get 'em, son," O'Neill crooned. "You're a good doggie."
"This is a momentous occasion?"
"Oh yeah," agreed Jack with a grin. "Something to celebrate."
Wriggling dog in hand, he turned to walk back inside his house, followed closely by his Jaffa friend.
"I do not understand."
Now in the kitchen, Jack turned to Teal'c, still holding the dog against his chest. "You're kidding. Right?"
"I am not."
"You mean you never had a pet dog when you were a kid?"
"Jaffa children are taught from an early age to serve their god. There is little time for amusement." He paused, one eyebrow raised for emphasis. "Any animals that found favor with the gods served as a momentary diversion when they were ritually slaughtered - and then eaten."
"Ah. That would certainly cut down on having any pets."
"Indeed."
Jack opened a cupboard and brought out a box of doggie treats. "It figures." Clutching the wriggling bundle of fur close to his chest, he fished one out of the box. "Hold your horses, buddy. I'm getting it. But if you're not careful, you'll get dropped on your furry butt and Cassie will have my ass."
Dropping the treat on the floor, he set the Yorkie down and watched with amusement as he pounced on the treat and carried it into the living room like a trophy. The little dog settled by his doggie bed and munched on it. When Jack walked past him on his way to the couch
he lifted his head in suspicion.
Jack chuckled as he joined Teal'c in front of the TV. "That's my boy," he said like a proud father.
Jack picked up his already open bottle of Guinness off the coffee table. "Whatcha watching?"
"I am viewing a documentary on the History channel about a heroic Tau'ri battle, The Battle of The Bulge."
"Ah, now that was a battle. Are you watching the movie, or a documentary?"
"A documentary. There is something I do not understand, however."
"Ask away, T." Jack took a sip of his beer and smiled in appreciation.
"When ordered to surrender by a vastly superior force, the American commander replied with a term with which I am unfamiliar."
Jack was distracted when the growling Yorkie tugged the slipper off his foot and then scampered off to a corner where he began shaking it viciously.
"O'Neill?"
Jack's head turned back to his Jaffa friend on the couch. "What? Oh, sorry, he's quite the little hellion sometimes."
Teal'c nodded. "He does display uncommon ferocity for his small stature."
"What was it you wanted to know?"
"When instructed to surrender, the commander of the American forces replied with a single word - nuts."
Jack propped his legs on the coffee table and rested his beer on his stomach.
"Yeah, that guy had balls of steel."
"I do not understand. In what context was this word used. Are not nuts the seed pod of certain Tau'ri plants?"
Jack chuckled. "Oh, I see what you mean. You're right, but in this case it meant he wasn't going to surrender. As in no way Jose, you're crazy if you think I'm gonna listen to you, ain't gonna happen . . . Nuts."
"I see. Then this is yet another example of Tau'ri humor."
"You got it." Jack whistled at the growling ball of fur in the corner.
"C'mere, Jackie m'boy."
Dark brown eyes solemnly regarded the pair on the couch before the puppy barked and bounded to the couch. One hand secured around his bottle, Jack used the other to scoop the squirming puppy onto his lap.
"Ya wanna hold him?"
Teal'c hesitated. "Is this wise?"
"Sure, he won't hurt you, I promise."
The Jaffa raised his eyebrow. "It was the welfare of Cassie's pet with which I was concerned."
"Ah, suit yourself, but this little fur ball is tougher than he looks."
Jack set the dog on the floor and dangled a ragged towel. "Watch this."
Immediately, the dog latched onto it, as he tugged at it, a throaty growl came from the tiny chest as he attempted to drag it off. However, Jack kept a firm grip on his end of the towel. Switching tactics, the puppy settled in for the long haul, his body close to the ground and dug his heels in, with an occasional vicious shake of his head, as if trying to rip the spoils from a rival's mouth.
Jack watched Teal'c face for a clue as to his friend's thoughts. As usual, it was hard to read the inscrutable face.
"According to the historians, this dog was originally bred by miners to hunt down and kill rats in the mines."
"This would explain the unusual ferocity displayed by Cassie's pet, would it not?" Teal'c mouth twitched into a half-smile as the dog wrested the towel from Jack's grasp, then trotted over to the corner where he continued to worry and growl at it.
"Tell you what, Teal'c. Next potty break, why don't you do the honors?" He smirked and held out the leash with two fingers. "You feel up to it?"
Teal'c inclined his head. "I shall endeavor to prove a worthy dog attendant to such a noble cha'tii."
Jack paused with the bottle halfway to his lips. "What?"
"Cassie's pet is a cha'tii, a little warrior."
"That he is, my friend, that he is. Just make sure the chatty Jackie doesn't piss on your boots."
"Indeed. That would be a most inauspicious beginning to my new relationship with the son of your heart, O'Neill."
"Touché," Jack tipped his bottle in his friend's direction.
A whine drew his attention back to the pup, which was now standing. As he watched, he whined again.
"That's your cue, Big Guy." Jack stood and picked up the leash. Then he walked over to the dog and attached it to the halter. "Chatty Jackie needs to pee. . . outdoors if at all possible."
A sound behind him made him turn only to jump. "Don't do that, Teal'c."
Teal'c stood behind Jack, impassive as stone. "I stand ready to assume my duties." He plucked the leash out of Jack's fingers and strode past him toward the kitchen door.
"Don't stay out too late, bud. I'll keep the light on."
Jack sighed as the door closed. True, he hadn't really expected a response from his Jaffa friend; after all, this was Teal'c, the original straight guy. Still sometimes it felt like he was wasting his best lines on him.
He settled in front of the TV and surfed through the channels, only stopping when he heard the sound of "The Simpson's."
"Ah, this is sweet! A bottle of beer and thee, Homer," he murmured.
"O'Neill!"
"What?"
Teal'c appeared, cradling the wriggling dog in his arms. "It was a most memorable experience."
Jack cocked his head.
"It was as you said, the cha'tii cocked his leg to urinate."
Teal'c's face split in an uncharacteristic grin as the dog licked his face and neck.
Jack just grinned. It really wasn't surprising that the Big Guy had fallen for the little fur ball, now if he could just convince the Asgard that he hadn't been trying to pull a fast one on them. Who knew that they were allergic to dog spit? And he hadn't meant to laugh, really he hadn't.
The End
Original Header Information:
Title: "Atta Boy!"
Author: dinkydow
Email:
Ficlet, humor, sequel to "Man's Best Friend?"
Pairings: none
Content Level: 13+
Season: Season 8
Spoilers: none
Warnings: Some potty language, Jack's a proud man.
Summary: Teal'c never had a chance.
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it, so please don't sue. But, if you guys want any help with scripts, or Jack, just give me a holler.
Dedication: To our fighting men and women and the loved ones who watch them march in harms way.
Author's Notes: Here's another Dinkyfic. This is the continuing story of how a puppy can train his "parents". Thanks to Jolene for doing a quick beta on this puppy.
