Becoming the Fifth Race by dinkydow
Part Three: Designing Jack
Abruptly, I came back to myself, and found I was still sitting at the conference table looking at Thor, my short, skinny-assed, gray, guardian angel wanna be from the Asgard. It took me a moment to remember how I had gotten here. Major General George Hammond and I had been invited to attend this meeting on board Thor's spaceship. Maybe invited wasn't the word to use. Actually, Thor had out and out insisted that we attend, insinuating that if we didn't do it voluntarily, we would get beamed up anyway. So much for non-interference and the Prime Objective.
I had only been back home at Stargate Command for about a week, before my boss had called me into his office for a one-on-one chat. My curiosity had been immediately aroused when he made it clear that the rest of my team wasn't being told about it or invited to this meeting. When he informed me this meeting would be at 0230 in the morning, all the red flags, buzzers, and whistles in my brain had started flashing, jumping up and down, waving red flags, and yelling at me. "Danger, danger, Jack O'Neill!" So, like the good little colonel that I am, (sometimes), I told him I would be there and bedded down in my quarters on base hoping to catch some sleep before the meeting.
I was still getting used to being back on Earth again after my extended stay of three months on Edora. Little things like hot showers, indoor toilets, microwaves, and cable TV still were a novelty and felt strange to me. It was kind of like finding an old beloved sweater again and finding that it still fit and felt good after trying it on. Don't get me wrong, I was glad to be back on Earth, but I'll have to admit that I missed some parts of the life I had lived while stranded on that planet after a meteor buried the Stargate.
It had been a life uncomplicated by the secrecy of working at a top-secret base hidden deep within Cheyenne Mountain. My role as second in command of Stargate Command and commander of my team, SG-1, was radically different from the relative simplicity of Edora where the main thought of each day consisted of finding enough to eat and rebuilding a burned out village. Sure, the people there had put me in the position of savior, but at least I was only doing it on a local level. Usually, I was in the position of saving an entire planet, for God's sakes. Yeah, I'll have to admit being the take-charge type of guy I am, I tended to naturally gravitate towards that role. But it had been kind of nice to not have the fate of the world on my shoulders for awhile.
Even though I had missed the technological comforts of Earth, I had grieved for the people I worked with the most because I had grown to think of them as my family. They were the reason I tried for so long to dig out that damn gate, even though the natives and good sense told me it was an impossible task. Well, nobody has ever accused me of having good sense or listening to advice.
I had missed the special relationship I had with the members of my team the most. There were the little things that were so important to me. Things like Major Samantha Carter's smile and the way her eyes lit up when she had just figured out some new gadget. I swear, I could actually see the light-bulb pop on in her eyes when she got another one of her genius-type ideas. She was drop-dead gorgeous and way smarter than me. Yeah, she was OK for a scientist geek. Just thinking about her now made my stomach do flip-flops. Not that I had THOSE kind of feelings for her. Don't even go there, Jack! For crying out loud, you're her CO! Moving right along to safer territory...
Danny Boy! Yeah, umm, Dr. Daniel Jackson, archeologist and linguist geek, was the only civilian on my team. It was my job to keep him out of trouble and on-task while we were out there exploring. Of course, this was impossible to do because he was so easily distracted by rocks. No, wait, he calls them artifacts. In short, if it was something that had happened so long ago that nobody really cared about it anymore, he had to analyze it. Analyzing it meant he had to touch it or pick it up, despite any orders I'd given him telling him not to do exactly that. To give him credit, it was just that sort of curiosity that had led him to figuring out how to open the Stargate in the first place. So despite the fact that Daniel was such a pain in the ass, I loved him like the little brother I never had. Damn, this train of thought was so not me. Too touchy feely. Next thing you know, I'd be suggesting a group hug. How 'bout those hockey scores, huh?
Teal'c, yeah, he was a safely macho subject. He was the alien on my team and had joined us last during our first visit to Chulak. He was built like a tank, had muscles on his muscles, a wicked right hook, and was really good at looking scary. I swear, he had it down to an art. In fact, he had most of the SGC personnel buffaloed, even the jarheads. In short, if he wanted the last Jell-O in the commissary, he got it, no questions asked. Even though he wasn't in our military, he was a fellow warrior. We understood each other so well probably because we had both been called to do some damn distasteful things by our bosses in our time. He was still learning all about us Tau'ri and, I'll have to admit, I was having fun teaching him. Believe it or not, that man was developing a wicked sense of humor.
So, getting back to the story, I had showed up in Hammond's office that morning at 0230 not really sure what to expect. My boss had proceeded to blow me away with his account of the continuing theft of alien technology from other planets. He said representatives from the Nox and the Tollan had already met with him while I was trapped on Edora.
To top it all off, he said they all insisted that it was us that was doing the stealing. Us, as in personnel from the SGC. According to Hammond, the thefts were occurring on several different planets and it was pissing off all our alien allies big time. Now, that was definitely not a good thing. Hell, we needed them if we were going to survive at all, let alone defeat the Snakeheads.
Anyway, about half an hour later, we were both beamed up to attend a secret meeting on board Thor's ship. I guess the Asgard had volunteered to represent the rest of the aliens for the meeting. Supposedly they wanted to show us all the evidence they had that proved we were doing the stealing. Unfortunately for us, Thor had all the evidence he needed to try, convict, and send us up the river for a long time. He showed us recordings that documented teams dressed in SGC uniforms stealing stuff and just generally creating a big nuisance of themselves. Hell, they even shot some natives who got in their way. All that evidence: humans using our weapons, wearing our uniforms complete with patches, stealing alien technology, the whole nine yards, was pretty damning. I don't know how Hammond took it, but, I felt about one inch tall. Damn this didn't look good for us at all! Thor blinked and looked at both of us from his position at the head of the table.
"General Hammond, these thefts must stop. If they do not, the Nox and the Tollan have authorized me to tell you that all diplomatic relations with Earth will cease. The Asgard agree with this decision."
"Thor, you and I both know that the SGC is not responsible for this! I have personally checked all gate activations for the past three months and know that our teams are not involved. Whoever is doing this, they aren't going through our Stargate," insisted General Hammond.
"That may well be, but the thieves are coming from your world. The Tollan, the Nox, and the Asgard all are in agreement on this. We also have decided that it is you who will have to put a stop to this. If you do not, we will have no alternative but to sever all ties with your people. You must understand that I would truly regret ending such a rewarding relationship, but if we cannot trust you, then we would have no other choice in this."
"But, Thor, buddy, you know that we don't operate that way. We don't steal stuff. Yeah, it would be sweet to get our hands on a couple of those ion cannons, but we don't just take stuff. We ask for it, even though you guys won't share. You know, we do know how to take no for an answer. We certainly hear it often enough. That along with those snide, snotty remarks about how primitive we are." I figured pleading a little couldn't hurt at this point. A little guilt trip or two wouldn't do any harm either, if it worked. I had my doubts that it would, but figured it wouldn't hurt to try.
Don't get me wrong. I consider Thor to be a friend. Not just to me, but to my people. But I knew we really couldn't afford to alienate these guys. It was them that had helped us get protection under the Treaty of Protected Planets in the first place. Thor had really gone to bat for us that time. I had a feeling that he had really gone out on a limb for us, that if he hadn't spoken up for us, no one else would have bothered. Without the protection from the Treaty, we would have been annihilated when the System Lord's finally launched their attack. We wouldn't have had stood a chance with that much fire power unleashed against us. Hammond and I both knew it. Unfortunately, the Tollan, the Nox, and the Asgard knew it too. Which meant they had us right where they wanted us, by the short hairs.
"O'Neill, the Nox, the Tollan and the Asgard believe you when you say that you have not taken these things. We have observed you over time and know you to be an honorable man. We have witnessed your selfless acts of bravery and have peered into your mind. We know we can trust you." Thor turned to my boss before continuing.
"General Hammond. We also trust you. You would not be here otherwise. I have been authorized to inform you that we will not cut off all contact with your race on one condition.
"And this condition is....what?" I asked suspiciously. Thor blinked his big black eyes and looked solemnly at me. I thought I could see where he was going with this and didn't like it one damn bit.
"You must locate who is behind the thefts of our technology. We have researched your past, O'Neill. We know that you have experience in this sort of matter."
"Now wait a damn minute, Thor! If you know about that part of my life, then you also know that I don't do that anymore. That part of my past isn't one I'm particularly proud of and I sure as hell don't want to go there again. So don't even say it, Thor. I don't do black ops work anymore. I CAN'T do it anymore," I muttered bitterly. Suddenly, I couldn't sit still any longer and I jumped to my feet. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I turned my back on my two friends and stalked away. Even that wasn't enough to escape the thoughts and memories racing through my mind, so I began to pace back and forth. Thor just kept on talking, his words knifing through my thoughts.
"It can only be you. We can trust no one else to do this, O'Neill." I stopped my pacing and stood leaning my hands against the table. I turned my best glare on the alien, hoping to intimidate the hell out of him. It usually worked, but didn't this time. I guess the fact that he was an alien and not some airman at the SGC might have had something to do with it. Crap! This was turning out to be so not my day.
"Yeah, well, Thor old buddy. You don't seem to be listening very well. So read my lips. I don't do that anymore. As in nope, no way Jose, no way no how, ain't gonna happen. Just what part of no don't you understand, huh? So how about we talk about Plan B, because quite frankly, your Plan A sucks."
"There is no Plan B to consider, O'Neill. You must find the people on your world who are behind the thefts, and you must do it alone. Only you and Hammond can know of this plan because everyone else is a suspect in the thefts," Thor continued implacably. "I will leave you both now to think on what I have said. I will return soon to hear of your decision." Then the gray alien shuffle-glided away from the table and left the room, leaving us to our own little personal hells.
I still felt too keyed up to sit down and resumed my pacing. Feeling my boss's eyes on me, I tried to ignore him. That didn't work either, so I reached for my chair and slumped down in it.
"Jack, I don't want to order you to do this..." he began.
"Then don't, Sir! Because I don't want to add disobeying a direct order to my list of sins right now. Do you have any idea of what he is asking me to do, Sir?"
"I think I do, son. And I don't like it either. You know, I've done my share of missions that weren't exactly above board too. I remember the bad taste it left in my mouth afterwards. But they're holding all the cards, Jack. They aren't leaving us much of a choice."
"No, General, they're not leaving ME much of a choice. I'm going to be the fall-guy in this one, the one that has to go back to a way of life that I swore I would never live again. Just how many times can I operate in that black area of hell before nothing of me is left, Sir? You know how doing that stuff eats away at your soul, your very identity. That's why I quit. I can't go back there again, not without losing a part of me that I can't replace." I got up and moved away towards the table again. Thankfully, Hammond didn't say anything. What could he say? He was right, they had us right where they wanted us, and they knew it. If I refused to go along with their plan, we would lose more than just allies. We would lose any chance we had of surviving as a species. The Snakeheads would move in like sharks in a feeding frenzy. After the dust had settled, my world would be toast and my people would have snakes in their heads or be slaves. Either that or be dead. But better dead than a snake in the head. What a hell of a slogan, Jack. Next thing you know, you'll be writing jingles to sell used cars. Crap!
I realized I was standing in front of the observation window. In front of me was the blackness of space with a sprinkling of stars sparkling in the background like the glitter on some kid's art project. Below me revolved the planet of my birth, Earth. Thor was no dummy. He had known exactly what he was doing when he had the meeting here. He had even seated us so that Hammond and I had a bird's-eye view of our home revolving below us. Just in case we had to be reminded of what was at stake here. Yeah, as if we didn't know. As if I didn't know. Damn!
I flashed back to another time when I had watched in horror as the Mothership I was on passed the rings of Saturn and approached Earth. I still remembered the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach as I had looked out the observation window, listening to the snake that infested my friend Skaara gleefully tell me of the imminent destruction of my home planet. Yeah, I knew what was at stake alright. I turned where I was and looked at my boss. He was still sitting, watching me. He didn't look happy. Well gee, that made two of us.
"General, I really need to talk with Thor about this. No offense, Sir, but I need to do it alone."
"Jack, I know this can't be easy for you. You're right, it is you that has no choice and it will be you that will have to take the risks. Take whatever time you need."
'Yeah, and if something goes wrong, it will be me that takes the fall', I added silently. I knew he was thinking the same thing. He was right, he knew the deal. In the shadow-world of black ops, one wrong move, one word to the wrong person, and it was over. You disappeared. No body to bury, you were just gone. We had both been there, bought the t-shirt, ripped it off, and swore never to wear it again. Now I was being told I would have to go back to that life. I shuddered.
"Thor, we need to talk," I said to the air.
As if he had been listening, the door opened and he appeared. Hell, it was his ship, he probably WAS listening in. If I were in his shoes, I sure as hell would. Wait, he doesn't wear shoes. Does he? Bad example.
"I'll leave you two alone for awhile. Thor, I'll be right outside." Hammond was being extremely understanding about this. As the door swished closed behind him, I stepped back to the table. Thor was sitting at its head again. I took my seat and spread my palms flat on the table. I studied my splayed fingers before turning my gaze on my alien friend.
"I know I'm going to have to do this, Thor. It's not as if you've given me much of a choice. But do you really know what you're asking me to do? I mean, do you really? Because, the people you are asking me to hang around with are the very ones that would jump at the chance to take me apart, literally. I'm talking about the NID and their offshoots, Thor. These people live in a world with no rules and no morals, a place where the concepts of right and wrong don't exist. They don't see the world as black and white, good and evil. They only see it as varying shades of gray. They would just as soon shoot you as look at you. One slip and I'm history. Gone, as in very dead. That is if I'm lucky. If they somehow found out about what I have inside my head..." I shuddered, not even able to complete my sentence out loud. Yeah, lab rat time for yours truly.
"I've been doing my damnest to make sure that nobody knows about this little secret of mine, Thor. I haven't even told my boss about it. And now, you're telling me I have to be best pals with the same people that would tear me apart if they knew? How can I do this, huh? How can I, no, YOU risk all this stuff from the Ancients falling into their sticky little hands? For crying out loud, help me out here, buddy. I feel like you're throwing me to the wolves. How's about a safety net?"
"We can offer you some safeguards, O'Neill. With these, we will be able to monitor your whereabouts at all times. We also realize how much more we could lose if your knowledge became known to the wrong people. However, Hammond will need to know of your secret. If he is to provide any protection for you at all, he must be told." I sighed heavily. He was right. He would have to know about my little treasure trove. Telling him about it was not going to be fun. The idea that I had been withholding important information from my CO had never sat well with me. Now I would be telling him that he couldn't trust me to be honest with him. Sure, I'd had a damn good reason for not telling him, but it still sucked big time. He was not going to be a happy camper.
"Yeah, Thor, you're right. I'm just not looking forward to telling him, that's all. After all, he trusted me. That's a big deal in my book." I had a sudden, unwelcome thought. Oops, Hammond wasn't the only one we had to tell. Doc Fraiser! She already suspected I was hiding something because of my brain scans. Because of what she already knew and suspected, she would have to be let in on this little scenario. I knew the General wouldn't be thrilled about that either. After all, she hadn't exactly lied to him, but she hadn't been telling him the entire truth about my test results either. This day just kept getting better and better.
"Uhh, Thor. We may have another problem. Dr. Fraiser took some brain scans after our last session with your palm thingy. She knows, Thor. She even told me that my scans showed the same results as when I had the download from the Ancients the first time. She hasn't told anyone about it because she said she trusts my judgment. But she will have to know about this. If we don't let her in on it, my cover will be blown sky high when she finds any abnormalities and reports them. And she will find them, Thor. When I start acting weird, the first thing they will do is run all kinds of tests on me to rule out any kind of alien influence. The General will have to order the tests. It would look too suspicious if he didn't because it's SOP for our facility. Besides, I'm going to have to do some damn good acting to convince everybody that I've gone dark-side. My opinions on these thefts are pretty well known. I haven't been exactly shy about expressing my opinion on things like that."
"We can discuss the details of this undertaking after Hammond has returned, O'Neill. However, I can assure you that we will take steps to ensure your well-being. This will be done prior to your return today. I believe it would be wise to bring him back into the room now. Are you ready, O'Neill?"
"As ready as I'll ever be. Might as well bring him in. We've got to get this show on the road." Already, I could feel myself changing inside, mentally preparing myself for the dirty business waiting for me. My heart was already feeling the necessary coldness I must have for the coming covert operation. I hated what I was feeling, but knew it was imperative if I were to succeed. If I were to come out of this alive and half-way sane, I had to focus all my energy on the up-coming mission, divorcing myself from any emotions but those connected with the successful completion of the job I had been given. Otherwise, I wouldn't have a prayer. Correction, Earth wouldn't have a prayer. Failure just wasn't an option at this point. Startled out of my thoughts, I looked up as I heard the swishing of opening doors. General Hammond appeared and slowly walked back up to the table.
"Thor? Jack? I assume we have some plans to make." No doubt about it. He wasn't wasting any time. That probably explained why he was the general and I was the bird colonel. He was right. We really had some talking to do. God, this wasn't going to be easy. I cleared my throat nervously.
"General Hammond. I have a confession to make. I haven't been entirely honest with you." My boss was doing an impression of a mackerel out-of-water, but I figured I might as well get this over with as quickly as possible. God knows, he has had enough rude surprises to last him a lifetime. Now I was about to add to it. Hopefully, that wouldn't ensure that I stayed on his shit list forever. Oh well, what could he do? Bend my dog tags? Send me on a suicide mission? No, wait! Too late. I was already going on one.
"I'm waiting, Colonel O'Neill." Oooh, he definitely was not a happy camper about this. Well, this was just peachy.
"Hammond, I too have been less than completely honest with you concerning my dealings with O'Neill. He is not entirely to blame for this," Thor interjected helpfully.
"Would somebody please just tell me what the hell is going on? I'll decide who's to blame. Well, Colonel, I'm waiting." Yep, that's my boss, right to the point.
"Sir, remember when I came back from Thor's home planet after I got downloaded with all that stuff from the Ancients? In my report I told you that it was all gone, that the Asgard removed it from my brain. Well, that wasn't entirely the case, Sir," I hedged. I was having trouble looking him in the eye.
"What are you saying, Colonel? Come on, spit it out, damn it." Yep, he was pissed.
"The information is all still there, Sir. I just can't get to it, most of it anyway. You see, what the Asgard did was help me isolate all that stuff in a corner of my head. I had to have their help because it was killing me. So when I got beamed up to see Thor before the Treaty Summit, he helped me release some of that info. That was how I was able to learn all the ins and outs of the Treaty so fast. Sir, I really did want to tell you. But I knew that you would have to report it to your superiors and I didn't want to take the risk of hostiles finding out about my little treasure trove of information. The NID goons would have had me locked up and strapped down before I even made it out of your office. Not to mention what those snakes with delusions of god-hood would do to get their slimy, snaky hands on it. It was the only way I could think of to protect the information, Sir. So I didn't mention it in my report." I paused to gulp in a breath of air.
"Sir, for what it's worth, I regret that I had to do it. But, I would do it again in order to protect the information. I can only imagine what Kinsey would try to do with it and we know he gets our reports." Yeah, he would have run straight to Maybourne with it. I sat, looking at the table. At this point I was afraid to even look at my CO, who also happened to be my friend, because I didn't know if I could have stood to see the look of betrayal in his eyes. Remembering the job I was about to do, I looked up anyway. I figured I might as well get used to it because I was going to be seeing that look directed at me a lot in the near future.
"Colonel O'Neill, Is this yet another example of your creative report writing?"
"I guess you could call it that, Sir, " I replied wincing. There was certainly nothing wrong with his memory.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me, Jack?"
"Sir?" OK, so I was stalling, but you can't blame a guy for trying.
"You heard me. Is there anything else that you need to tell me?" Damn, he wasn't going to give up, was he? I took another deep breath.
"I believe Dr. Fraiser is aware of the stuff in my head, Sir. But, I'm still basically the same old me. Just with some upgrades, so to speak. Sir." Hey Thor, help me out here. The little alien wasn't saying a word. You know, for such a talkative guy, he was suddenly being awfully damn quiet. After a moment, Hammond started taking. Now I was in for it.
"So, Colonel, what you're telling me is that you still have access to some of the information from that download from the Ancients' device and that Thor has been aiding and abetting you in concealing this from me. And that you and Thor have been doing your utmost to prevent this valuable information from falling into the wrong hands. Is that what you are telling me, Jack?"
"Yes, Sir."
"And, are you also telling me that you have been using this information only to protect our planet from the Goa'uld?"
"Uhh, Yes, Sir," I agreed. Yeah, that's what we'd been doing. Certainly hadn't made any money off that intel. I was looking at my hands again, but risked a quick look at my CO and then looked back down. Suddenly my hands on the table had become extremely interesting. Hmm, he didn't look too pissed. Maybe I'd only be cleaning latrines for a month, instead of a year. Who knows, with good behavior, he might even let me use a big brush instead of my toothbrush.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you, Airman!" My head snapped up like it had been jerked on a string. Years of military training, not to mention boot camp, will do that to you. Believe me, I know. I had done way too many push-ups in my time to forget that lesson so easily.
"Sir, yes, Sir!" My eyes were fastened to his like superglue now. The expression on his face was one of exasperation. I recognized that look mainly because he had directed it at me a few times before. All right, a whole honking bunch of times before.
"Colonel, if you didn't tell me this before, why the hell are you telling me now? Just what has changed in this scenario?"
"General Hammond. It was I who suggested that O'Neill inform you of the information he carries. As he will be required to infiltrate the very organizations who would harm him, additional safeguards will need to be provided to assure both the safety of him and the information he carries in his brain. I will provide these safeguards so that we may monitor his condition at all times. However, in order for you to be able to support him in this endeavor, you now need to know what you are protecting. This is why we have informed you of his secret. Believe me when I say this, Hammond. We of the Asgard hold O'Neill in very high esteem because of who he is and what he is becoming." With that enigmatic remark, the little guy was silent. Damn, what a mouthful. Almost made me sound important. Yeah, right. In your dreams, O'Neill! You're a legend in your own mind alright.
"Aww, for crying out loud Thor don't make me into something I'm not. Sir, my buddy here kind of exaggerated the part about me becoming something stuff. I'm still just me, a bird colonel who can be a real pain in the ass sometimes." I shrugged my shoulders. All that attention was making me very uncomfortable. General Hammond actually smiled at me. You know, I think he was enjoying watching me squirm. Still, a smile was better than the look he had been directing my way earlier.
"Colonel, I am very aware of your capabilities and short-comings. Be that as it may, you still haven't told me just what it is that has changed about you. I haven't noticed any difference in your performance, Jack."
"I'm glad you said that, General. I've been doing everything I can think of to convince everyone that nothing has changed. As long as they all think that this old bird is about as sharp as a box of rocks, they won't suspect what is really going on inside my head. As for the changes in my abilities, for one thing, I can speak and understand what the Snakes are saying now. Comes kind of handy when they start with their 'kree' bullshit. Oh, and Thor helped me understand all that gobbledygook stuff in the 'Treaty of Protected Planets Handbook' he gave us. Sir, you think Air Force regs are bad. The doubletalk in that thing makes our rules look downright user-friendly in comparison."
"Just what part does my CMO play in this little con of yours, Jack?"
"Dr. Fraiser said my scans showed elevated brain activity right after she carted me off to her Infirmary that time when I passed out in the Briefing Room. But she said it had gone back to normal later. She told me she made the connection because it looked like the scan I had when I'd originally been downloaded. Sir, the reason Thor and I told you about her is because she's going to have to be told something about this little sting operation I'm going to do. Anything Thor does to help him monitor me is bound to show up in her tests. If she blows the whistle on me, my cover would be blown, and I could end up dead, Sir."
"You're right, Jack. She will have to be told, but only on a need-to-know basis. There is a real danger in sharing a secret with too many people." Then I noticed his stern face change as the worry lines seemed to soften a little.
"Son, I can't say that I like the fact that you withheld information from me. I can understand your reasons though. God knows I've had to tangle with that NID bunch way too many times. You and I both know that their sense of morals is about as crooked as a dog's hind leg. And by saying that, I'm insulting the dog! The fact that you've been using this new ability of yours in our defense really counts for something in my book, Jack." The level of tension in the room suddenly evaporated, leaving me almost weak with relief. One hurdle down, only a bunch more to go. How did that saying go? Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." Something like that anyway. Well, my web was about to get a hell of a lot more tangled, that's for sure. Now that I had just aired all my dirty laundry with my boss, it was time to get down to business. My CO seemed to agree with me.
"Thor, we still haven't planned just how Jack is going to catch these thieves for you. Just what is your game plan, Jack? I have a few ideas of my own, but I'd like to hear yours first."
"General, I have to make them come to me and in order to do that I have to convince them that they can use me. The only way I can think of to do that is to steal something myself, Sir. You both know that my performance will have to be pretty damn convincing to fool these guys. That means doing something pretty drastic, like stealing an ion cannon, or something like that."
"You're right, Jack, and it also means you and I will be having a big falling out. You know that what I will be telling you shouldn't be taken personally."
"Sir, that goes without saying. Both you and I will have to exchange quite a few insults if it's going to have a snowball's chance in Netu to work. So I'm apologizing ahead of time for all the crap I'll be giving you, Sir."
"Apology accepted, son. Now Thor, just who else is going to know about this? Before you say anything, I need to inform you that I am duty-bound to inform my President of this problem. I don't have to give him details, but he does need to know that our allies aren't happy."
"I understand the responsibilities of command, General Hammond. We of the Asgard also have our superiors to report to. Travell, Chancellor of the Tollan, will be told of course, along with the Nox representative. Then there will be you two, as well as your Doctor. No other members of your race can know anything because they are suspects in the thefts." So much for informing our regular chain of command. Who knows who the moles were or just how high up this cancer had spread. Yep, no doubt about it, this was turning out to be one giant cluster fuck.
"What about my team? I can personally vouch for them, Thor. There is no way that they are involved in this. You can trust them. It's not as if they can't keep a secret. They've been doing that for three years. I KNOW they can be trusted. I trust them with my life all the time. And it's not as if you don't owe them something for all the help they've given our allies, Thor."
"They cannot be told anything, O'Neill. Teal'c is the former First Prime of Apophis and a Jaffa. As for Samantha Carter, while it is true that she is a member of your military and has helped us in the past, she has no experience in covert operations. Likewise, your Daniel Jackson also has no experience in this. I am sorry O'Neill, but we cannot take the risk that one of them may say the wrong thing or react in the incorrect manner to your actions. This is a matter that is non-negotiable. They can be told nothing." Thor just kept staring at me. I stared back, hoping I would be able to stare him down. Damn those black eyes of his were hell when it came to a who-will-blink-first contest. He had me beat in no time flat, hands down. What a mess this was turning out to be. I was getting royally screwed and hadn't even brought my jar of Vaseline.
"General Hammond? You know how close we are. We're like family. That's why we work so well together. And now you're telling me that I have to lie to them? Think about what that will do to the dynamics of our team." 'Not to mention what it will do to me,' I added in my head. The empty feeling in my stomach was back in spades. My head wasn't feeling too great either. I swear it felt like I had a guy beating on it like a bongo drum. Great. Yeah, this was just peachy! The General must have known what I was thinking. Hell, he watched us in action all the time, and he knew how close we were. If I lied to them, that feeling of family would be destroyed. And once, that was gone, I would be alone again. Could I survive if they all turned their backs on me? I had my doubts about that. Yep, definitely should have brought that Vaseline.
"Jack, as much as I hate to admit it, I have to agree with Thor. Even though you and I both know that they aren't in on these thefts, they can't know anything about your operation. I wish I could say different, but it would put both you and them at risk. How they respond to your actions must be genuine." Damn, there went my last hope of salvaging some of the respect my team members had for me. Deep down inside, I knew my CO and Thor were right. My team's reactions to my changed behavior would be scrutinized by any plants the bad guys had at the SGC. And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they had to be there. The fact that the thefts were continuing proved it.
The coldness inside me continued to grow larger as I contemplated what I would have to do. I would have to piss off the members of my team big time. Not only did we know each other inside and out, but we cared too much about each other not to question behavior changes in any one of us. We didn't just watch each others sixes off-world. This caring took place on-world also, both at work and off base. Crap!
I guess they could see that I was doing some heavy duty thinking because neither Thor or Hammond were saying anything. They just kept looking at me. I used both hands to scrub my face. The headache was still there and all this pressure wasn't helping.
"Can you do it, O'Neill? Can you alienate everyone?" asked Thor. Count on him to come right to the point.
"Yeah, I can do it." That's what scared me. I knew I could do it. I could be absolutely ruthless when I needed to. And God help me, but my words to my friends would need to be lethal in this case. Because I also knew that the only way I could keep them from suspecting a con was to push them away and hurt them. Not only that, I would have to do it right away, hurt them so bad that they would stay away from me. But God, I didn't want to. Since when did what I wanted make any difference, though?
I could already see the hurt look of reproach in Carter's eyes. And Daniel, hurting him would be like kicking a whipped puppy. He was my best friend and didn't give his trust lightly. To protect him and me, I would have to do everything possible to break that trust. As for Teal'c, he wouldn't say anything, but I would be able to tell that I had let him down. He would just give me that measuring stare of his, the one that would find me without honor.
Losing their respect like that would be like murdering something. And I was going to have to do the killing, just as surely as if I were putting a bullet in our friendship. Plus, I knew there was always the risk of the bad guys coming after them if I didn't cooperate in one of their schemes. They wouldn't hesitate to use my friends as a kind of insurance policy. Not exactly kosher, but then, that's the way things were done in their shadow-world. I'd been there long enough to know. Now I would be going back.
Yeah, I could always tell them it had all been a setup after it was all over. Later, if there was a later for me, that is. But the damage would already be done. Once a trust is broken, it's damn hard to win it back. Oh, Teal'c, being the warrior that he is, would understand. I have a fair idea that he has some pretty gruesome skeletons in his closet. And Carter, being military, she would understand too, after a fashion. Understand me, yes. Forgive me? That was a big fat honkin' maybe. Maybe with time. But as for Daniel, he would neither understand nor forgive me.
Let's face it. This little covert operation was going to cost me more than just a few more nightmares. Oh well, adding a few more sins to my already impressive list wasn't going to make a whole hell of a lot of difference in the long run since I really wasn't planning to make it past St. Peter at the Pearly Gates anyway. I guess our little jaunt to Netu was good training for my future place of residence in the afterlife. Unfortunately, there was a good chance that I would be visiting there in the not too distant future. Damn, this really sucked big time. Did I mention I thought this plan sucked? Note to self: Send memo to Thor telling him his plan sucks.
"O'Neill, our time here grows short. If we are to keep this meeting a secret, both of you will need to be returned soon. I will contact you with the details of the rest of the plan after I consult with the Tollan and the Nox. They need to be informed that you have agreed to our plan. Now, O'Neill, come here please. It is time." I knew exactly what he meant. Time for another session with his glowy palm thing. I glanced at my watch. We had already been at this about three hours. Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're having fun. Yeah, right.
"OK, Thor, but exactly what will you be doing this time. I mean, I really think I have a right to know just what will be happening inside my head. It is my head, after all." I looked at my boss. He wasn't saying a word. Well, this was the first time for him. As for me, it was becoming old hat. Sort of. I scooted my chair up closer to the little gray guy. I figured if I was going to pass out, I could at least be sitting down when I did it.
"I will enable the programming that will allow us to maintain constant contact with you. It will be completely undetectable after it is completely operational. I will personally be monitoring this frequency, O'Neill. Believe me when I tell you this. I truly do not wish you to come to any harm. I find our relationship... enjoyable." So now I'm enjoyable. So much for my reputation as a tough-as-nails SOB.
Could I make a suggestion before we start? Could you beam us back to the Infirmary afterwards, Thor? It will just save wear and tear on our hospital gurneys since I always pass out after these sessions. Plus, we really don't need to raise a big fuss when we get back. What do you think, General?"
"I couldn't agree with you more, Jack. Can you do it Thor? I think one of the isolation rooms would be about right."
"Our transporter technology is very precise, Hammond. Of course it can be done. Are you ready O'Neill?" As he raised his hand, my eyes followed it. At some point he had gotten a hold of his glowy palm thingy again. Damn, how did he do that? It's not as if he had it in his pockets or anything. He was a non-clothes-wearing, short, gray alien for God's sakes! Then my thoughts were replaced by physical sensation.
Pain and pressure were building inside my head again. As the pain spiked upwards, a bright shimmering light traveled from the middle of my forehead to end at Thor's raised palm. The pressure in my head faded when the light did. I blinked and then it was nighty-night time for Jack O'Neill as my world faded to black.
***
I could feel pressure on my right eye, but wasn't aware of much of anything else yet. Then, suddenly, my sight was filled with a bright, searing light.
"Arrgh! Dammit Doc! Get that damn light out of my eye! What are you trying to do, kill me?" I roared. Well, at least that was my intention. What came out sounded more like the croak of an asthmatic bull-frog. Clearing my throat, I opened my eyes and tried speaking again. I could see the oh-so-familiar ceiling tiles of the SGC Infirmary. I guess Thor's accuracy was as good as advertised.
"Doc, What is it with you and your damn penlights?" I muttered.
"Good morning to you too, Colonel," she replied. I turned my head and saw that the good doctor and General Hammond were standing next to my bed. I immediately tried maneuvering my arms so I could sit up. But as soon as I tried this, my headache reached mammoth proportions. With a groan of disgust, I gave that up as a lost cause and settled back down.
Damn, but this routine was getting monotonous. Get beamed up by Thor. Have session with Thor's glowy palm thing. Get headache. Pass out. Get beamed back down. Wake up in Infirmary. Get tortured by Fraiser's penlight. Keep headache. Complain. Get stuck with big needles. Complain. Yep. I think that's about the way it went.
"Doc, we're going to have to quit meeting like this. People are beginning to talk," I quipped. Well, at least my razor-sharp wit had survived intact. Based on how drained I felt, I decided maybe staying in bed wasn't such a bad idea after all. But I knew I couldn't let Janet know that. If I gave in to her too easily, she would think I was really sick and then she'd never let me out. At least she hadn't threatened me with any of her huge honkin' needles...yet.
"Good to see you back with us, Colonel," commented Hammond. "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to sleep the day away."
"It's good to see you too, Sir," I answered back. Yep, still hadn't lost my witty repartee. Yep, that's me. Colonel Jonathon O'Neill, hit of the cocktail party.
"Sorry Doc, I guess Thor's transporter thingy kind of messed with my head again. You know how it is." I gave her a grin. "By the way, when are you letting me out of your little house of horrors? You know that Jack is a busy man. Places to go, people to see."
"Cut the crap, Sir," she admonished knowingly. "You aren't leaving here until I get some answers. I saw her nail my boss with a glare. Ooh, she seemed really pissed.
"General? Can you please tell me what the hell is going on here? Here it is, six oh five in the morning. One minute I'm making my rounds in a QUIET Infirmary, and the next minute I see this flash of light coming from one of my isolation rooms. After I run to the door, what do I see but the two top officers of the SGC, one of whom is passed out on the bed.
"Let me explain, Dr. Fraiser. But first, I need you to understand that what I'm about to tell you must remain in this room." I could see a no-nonsense look on my CO's face. This time he was directing it at Janet, not at me.
"Of course, Sir."
"As you've probably already guessed, the Colonel and I just returned from an emergency meeting with the Asgard. Jack here passed out after having some adjustments done with one of Thor's gadgets." She gave a startled look to the General before nodding her head. In the silence that followed his pronouncement, I could almost hear the gears turning in her head as she was putting two and two together and coming up with the square root of sixteen. See, I can too do math. And I didn't even have to take off my shoes and socks to do it.
"Same symptoms as the last time, Colonel?" she asked, looking at me. See, I told you she was smart. By the way she had looked at our CO I also knew that she knew that the General knew what she knew... Did I get that right? I guess I still wasn't thinking too clearly yet.
"Yep, same old same old, Doc. Nail in the head headache and the urge to puke on somebody's shoes. Same story as usual." I tried to grin when I saw the General take a step back, but knew that would be a very bad thing for me to do. Guess he thought vomit wouldn't do his uniform any good. Janet handed me a basin. Just in time too, because I was losing the battle to keep the remnants of last night's dinner in my stomach. Curling up on my side and grabbing the basin, I gave it up as a lost cause and puked up everything but my toenails. Nothing but bile came up, but it left the usual nasty taste in my mouth. Sighing, I relinquished my hold on it and gave the container back to the Doc. Staying curled up on my side gave my aching head and sore stomach muscles a break, so I didn't move. The General waited while she had disposed of the mess in the nearest biohazard bag before continuing.
"Dr. Fraiser, I understand that your reports concerning the state of Colonel O'Neill's health have been incomplete." Janet opened her mouth to speak, but he wasn't through yet.
"Colonel O'Neill has explained why you didn't report this to me. While on one hand I can understand your reasoning, on the other hand, I cannot condone your behavior. As commander of a top-secret facility, I am responsible for everything that happens here, Doctor. There is no way I can make informed decisions regarding the personnel under my command if I don't have all the information. I don't want it happening again, Captain Fraiser. Do I make myself clear?" He had the her full attention now.
"Yes, Sir." There didn't seem to be much she could say under the circumstances. She was guilty of keeping information from her CO and she knew it.
"Now, having said that, I reckon I need to add to it. Off the record, I applaud your willingness to protect Jack and I need you to continue doing it. But, with a change. Any test results showing unusual readings will be hand-carried to me by you. I will have them placed in a more secure area. These results are not, I repeat, NOT to be placed in his regular medical file unless I tell you otherwise. Nor will you discuss these findings with anyone else. Am I understood, Doctor?"
"Yes, Sir," she replied. I could tell she had more questions, but didn't want to stick her neck out at this point. I didn't blame her. She could have gotten into a whole bunch of trouble over this. Most other CO's would have put an official reprimand in her file, at the very least. As I was partially to blame for her predicament, I was relieved that Hammond hadn't done that to her.
"I am suggesting that you stay on the base for the next two weeks, Doctor. There is a very high probability that we will be visiting Thor a few more times and I don't want anyone else but you treating Jack if he needs it. In fact, as far as the rest of SGC are concerned, these visits aren't happening."
"What visits, Sir?" she replied with a smile. "I understand completely. No one will know a thing. I can have Cassie stay with a friend."
"That includes my team too, Doc. I mean it. No one else can know about this," I added. I could see that my statement had taken her by surprise. She, of all people knew how close we were. The fact that we took turns babysitting each other through our all too frequent stays in her little domain said it all.
"We can't tell you anything more that what we already have, Doctor," added the General.
"I can keep this room vacant unless we fill up here. If I have to use it for the overflow from the ward, I'll let you know, Sir. Will that help?"
"That should do it, Doctor. Now I reckon it's time for me to report to my office. I imagine someone will be looking for me soon," smiled Hammond. Then he walked out the door, closing it shut behind him.
"Now, Colonel. I believe I have an exam to complete." She grabbed a thermometer.
"Open wide, Sir."
"But..." That was a mistake as she used that as an excuse to shove the damn thing in my mouth.
"Not another word, Colonel. You're mine now, and you won't leave here until I'm finished." She must have seen the rebellion in my eyes, because she pulled her trump card.
"You know, I just got in a brand new shipment of exam gloves and extra-large needles. The kind I use on uncooperative colonels. By the way, isn't it about time for your prostate exam?" Then that evil woman stretched one glove and let it go with a loud thwack! The sound made me cringe.
"Crystal, Doc," I mumbled. Pissing off Janet was definitely NOT in my best interests right now so I decided it might be best if I just kept my mouth shut and took it like a man. Yep, I was definitely back home among my friends. The knowledge that I would be leaving them behind soon saddened me, but being the soldier that I was, I knew I would carry out my orders. For now, though, I could revel in the feeling of being wanted and needed here.
My body still felt as limp as a wet dishrag and my headache hadn't gone away either. Based on my own past experience with my sessions with Thor, I realized that if I got up and tried to act like nothing had happened, I would just pass out again someplace else in front of witnesses. Then Doc would have to cart my sorry ass right back down here with my team acting as an escort. And I would have Thor, my boss and Fraiser all mad at me for calling attention to myself like that.
Not to mention that it would be adding yet another snag to an already complicated operation. It made absolutely no sense to at all add fuel to the already thriving rumor mill here on base. Plus, I didn't want to put anyone in the position of having to come up with a plausible explanation of why I was blacking out like that. It's not as if we could use the old 'he fainted because he's pregnant' excuse.
Yeah, the Infirmary was definitely the best place for me to stay right now, so I settled back on the bed and let the Doc do her job. As I drifted off to sleep, I was hopeful that I wouldn't dream about mine.
Original Header/Footer Information:
Title: "Designing Jack" Part 3 of the "Becoming The Fifth Race" Series
Author: dinkydow
Email: jd3031@socket.net
Category: Missing scene/prequel for "Shades of Grey" from Jack's point of view, Drama, angst, sequel to "Diplomatic Jack".
Rating: R for language. Jack is very upset.
Spoilers: Mainly from "Shades of Grey", Small ones from "The Serpent's Lair", "Cor-ai", "Fair Game", "The Devil You Know" "A Hundred Days".
Warnings: Jack gets mad and swears. Minor Jack whumping but it's mainly mental.
Summary: Jack is ordered by Thor to do some more "damn distasteful things".
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it. (heavy sigh).
Author's Notes: Huge honkin' thank you's go out to my husband Jerry and my friend Alice for helping me out with this thing. You've both been so supportive with me and my writing. Yes, I do like to hear from other fans who read my stuff. So please send me feedback.
