"Don't you remember what
happened?" Sam helped Jack sit up in the pod while Ernie and Thor
watched. They looked worried, he could tell. Thor blinked a lot more
when he was worried, and Ernie, well that particular little alien
bounced in place. A lot. They'd make lousy poker players.
Jack's attention turned
to Sam and he raised one eyebrow, Teal'c style. "Remember what?"
Sam exchanged significant
looks with the butt-naked little gray aliens who were hovering over him
as if he were spun glass. More tears coursed down his face and he
surreptitiously wiped at them with his hand. For crying out loud, what
was going on?
"Why are you crying?"
Sam's voice was tentative, as if she were afraid of saying the wrong
thing. They acted the way he did when certain members of his former team
- who were of the female persuasion - were on the rag. Crap!
"Danged if I know," Jack
sniffed. "Crap, would somebody tell me why I'm bawling like a baby for
no apparent reason?"
"You received a blow to
the head which caused an intracranial bleed," Ernie explained
helpfully.
Jack shook his head and
covered his ears as tears continued to stream down his face. "Ack! In
English please?"
Sam smiled and tugged at
his hands with her own and didn't let go of them right away. Her hands
squeezed his with reassurance.
"You're suffering from a severe concussion."
"Okay - that I
understand. Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Jack nailed Ernie
with a scowl that seemed to have no effect on the guy. But then with the
Asgard, it was hard to dent their air of superiority. Heck, maybe they
were born - no, cloned - with it, sort of like they were injected with a
hint of snootiness toward primitive races with stupid ideas. Well, the
human's stupid ideas had saved their little gray asses more than once -
so there.
"But how did I get a
concussion? And where am I?" Jack looked around him, as well as he was
able through the tears that obscured his vision. With all the water he
was generating, he was beginning to feel like a goldfish in an aquarium.
And wasn't there usually some kind of emotion that came with this leak?
He didn't feel anything, or at least nothing that would explain this . .
. this boo-hoo stuff.
Thor took over. "You are
aboard the 'Janet Fraiser'. We transported you from Tartarus, the
stronghold where Baal held you and Lieutenant Colonel Carter
prisoner."
"This is a joke, right?"
Jack's jaw hung open and his gaze wandered from one face to another. He
rummaged around the attic of his memories for the events that they
described and came up with nothing - zip, nada. It just wasn't there.
Elvis had left the building and the fat lady had cancelled her
engagement.
"No, Jack. It's no joke.
I wish it were." Sam shook her head, her blues eyes solemn.
"Not a joke?" His dark
brown eyes searched her face, waiting for the moment when the lights
came on and everyone shouted 'surprise - April Fool'! It never came.
Instead Ernie, the ebullient, put in his two cents worth. And in Jack's
opinion, it wasn't worth a plug nickel.
"Nope," Ernie answered.
Okaay, at least the little guy was short and to the point - pun
intended.
"I would not joke about such a thing, O'Neill." Thor added.
"Of course you wouldn't, Thor. Do you even have a sense of humor?"
Thor blinked and looked constipated.
Jack ducked his head and
looked sheepish. "No, wait, I take that back, you named a ship after me
and then blew it up. If that wasn't worth a barrel of yuks, then I don't
know what is."
Jack scrubbed his face
with both hands and then fisted away the tears from his eyes. It seemed
to help - a little - until they were replaced by more. At the rate he
was going, he'd shrivel up like a prune from dehydration.
"Aah!" he groaned, not
used to being both embarrassed and bewildered at the same time.
Then he straightened as
some of Thor's explanation penetrated the fog that coated his brain like
greenish slime crap that grew on the surface of a stagnant lake. "Did
you say Baal?" He paused. "As in Slime-Baal?" Jack hooked quotes around
the nickname with two fingers.
Sam nodded emphatically.
"Yes, Jack. Baal had captured both of us."
"That's funny, I don't
remember a thing." He sighed. "You'd think that I would . . .
considering it was Slime-Baal and all. Shouldn't there have been a memo
about that . . . or something?"
Sam ducked her head and
bit her lower lip, then reached out to touch him, then seemed to think
better of it and withdrew her hand where it dangled at her side.
"Will his memory return?" Sam asked Ernie.
Her lower lip was taking
a beating, at the rate she was chewing; she'd have it shredded in
nothing flat. Jack could think of better things to do with that lip, oh
yeah, there was no doubt about it. Then he squirmed as those thoughts
had the expected effect on certain parts of his anatomy. Down boy, he
thought with discomfiture. No need to put on a show for the oh-so-nosy
aliens, Jack mused.
"Yes, I believe it will, given time."
"Hey, I am here you
know." Jack growled dispiritedly, relieved to have something else to
think about . . . for now.
"Can't you do something
to speed up the process?" Sam continued to chew away at her lip, and
then winced and wiped a trickle of blood away with her hand.
Jack frowned and cleared
his throat. He reached out to wipe away the thin trickle of blood from
her face. Her blood stained his fingertips; he wiped it off on his
shorts.
"Believe it or not, Sam,
I am not Omniscient and there are some things that are beyond my power
to change. The symptoms brought about by a severe concussion are just
one of many of those things. As for the others, we've already gone down
that road and I am certain that we don't want to revisit it." Ernie
looked solemn and the reproving glare from Thor seemed to be ignored.
"Okaay," Jack drawled and
then swung his legs around in preparation to getting out of the pod.
"Well, if it's okay with you, I'd like to get the heck out of this
thing, take a shower and get into something decent." He fingered the
torn and grimy shorts with a forefinger and grimaced. "These things are
so dirty they can just about stand up by themselves."
"Oh, I don't know, I kind
of like the view," Sam giggled and ducked her head as if she didn't dare
get caught looking at his naked chest, or those long lean legs. Well, at
least he still had what it took to attract the ladies. And besides, the
good bits were still hidden by his shorts. She could stare at those to
her heart's content - later . . . much later. In private - very
private.
"No giggling in the
ranks, Carter," Jack scowled and the furrow between his eyebrows
deepened. Then the corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk. As if a
faucet had been switched off, the tears stopped. He blinked a few times,
unwilling to trust the break in the weather, and then grinned.
"Hey, look, I've stopped
raining," Jack smiled and bent to wipe off his face with the back of his
arm. "And it's about time, don't ya think? I was beginning to feel like
it was that time of the month for me, complete with crying jags and bad
temper."
"I do not understand,"
Thor blinked and cocked his head. "To what are you referring,
O'Neill?"
Sam blushed and
stammered, "Um, he's referring to PMS, Thor."
Thor blinked again and
looked clueless, but considering how they reproduced, he probably
wouldn't have a clue about this . . . even if he tripped over it - so to
speak. Now Ernie on the other hand, that little guy was way too curious
for his own good about certain things. His curiosity just might land him
in hot water if he wasn't careful.
"I know what you mean,
Sam," Ernie bounced and all but waved his hand in the air to get their
attention. "Premenstrual Syndrome. It occurs when the human female's
monthly cycle ends and . . ."
Jack waved his hand like
a traffic cop, "Ack! Stop!" He turned to Sam. "In case you didn't
notice, you're embarrassing the crap out of Sam, so just cool it,
okay?"
Sam smiled but kept her
head down, as the rosy blush crept up her neck to color her face a shade
usually reserved for lobsters fresh from the pot.
Sam stepped forward and
took Jack's hand in hers. "Why don't you let me help you, Jack?"
"Don't mind if I do,
ma'am," Jack drawled and tightened his larger hand around her slender
fingers. He stood and swayed a bit which caused Sam to move closer to
him, ready to support him if needed.
He squeezed his eyes shut
and then opened them as the room swayed, then steadied.
"Are you all right,
Jack?" Ernie's leathery fingers brushed his wrist.
Jack pasted a smile on
his face. "Of course, I’m all right. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Being hit over the head
with falling debris might have something to do with it," Sam muttered as
if to herself. Jack looked at her sharply and she ducked her head. "Oh,
did I say that out loud?" She asked with seeming innocence and a smirk
of her own.
"Ya think?"
"Oh, sorry." In Jack's
opinion, she didn't look like she meant it. For some odd reason, the
word lingered and echoed inside his mind, refusing to go away, there was
an almost queasy feel to it.
"Sorry?" He asked as if in a daze.
His hand swept past his
nose to brush at his forehead, as if he could physically remove the word
that seemed to tickle the inside of his brain. The scent of dried blood
wafted past his nostrils and he gagged.
As if he were watching a
movie, disjointed images suddenly flashed through his brain. A screaming
Sam was held down with blood cascading down her abdomen. And Baal was
there, a gloating smile on his face. Then Sam's face changed into that
of a younger one, a girl that backed away from him in terror. But why?
Jack shook his head as if to shake loose the answer, he momentarily
staggered. Then the answer came - because he'd scared her.
He jerked as a touch on
his shoulder ended the images that cascaded through the molasses he
laughingly called a brain. "What?"
His fingers brushed at
his forehead with consternation. Wobbly legs threatened to dump him on
the floor and he leaned into Sam's embrace.
"Jack?" Sam looked worried. "What's wrong?"
"I . . . I don't know."
Grimly he squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them. "For a second
there, I was someplace else."
"Let's sit down," Sam
advised. And he didn't argue with her, if he were honest with himself,
his legs didn't feel all that steady, and he wasn't all that sure where
the floor was. Everything felt . . . well, not quite there.
"Yeah, that might be a
good idea." Jack nodded and accepted her support as they made their way
to the chairs. Thor and Ernie followed them.
Once seated, Jack bent
over, his arms propped on his thighs and his forehead cradled in his
hands, exposing the full length of his back, muscles twitched in
distress here and there under his grimy skin.
"What did you see?" A
feather light touch on his arm caused Jack to turn his head. It was Sam
and her blue eyes were wide with concern - or was it fear? And why would
he think it was fear?
Jack blinked his eyes
several times to get his bearings. "I saw you, Sam. And somebody was
holding you down."
"Yes, go on," Sam encouraged him and squeezed his arm.
"You were screaming and
blood was everywhere. And Baal was there too. What did he do to you,
Sam?"
Sam avoided his gaze and
her hands tightened on his arm in a death-grip. "It's a long story. What
else did you see?"
Jack's lips thinned into
a straight-line. He'd get that 'long story' out of her later. "I saw a
little girl. The poor thing was scared to death - of me. Apparently I'd
done something that she didn't like." He licked dry lips before he
continued. "It all started when you said the word 'sorry'. Why is
that?"
Sam licked her lips and
she looked away. When she spoke her voice trembled. "Her name was
Jackie."
"Jackie?" Flashes of a
face, upturned to his as she told him her name, and who had given it to
her. His words were halting, as if he were reading an unfamiliar script
and didn't know his lines. "Yes, I remember . . . she told me you had
given her that name . . . and that you were alive. Baal had told me that
you were dead." Jack turned questioning eyes to Sam for confirmation of
his words. It all felt so much like a bad dream. But was it?
"Yes, you're remembering
more, aren't you?" Tears trickled down Sam's face.
"I think so, but . . .
there's more . . . but I can't get to it right now," Jack whispered with
frustration. Everything was right there, but he couldn't touch it. "Who
is Jackie and where is she now?"
Then he stiffened as the
word 'sah-ree' reverberated through his mind. A face upturned as her
brown eyes - so much like his own - glazed over in death.
Jack's eyes, more
black-pupil than brown, bored into Sam's. "She's dead, isn't she?"
Sam nodded, and he
scooted his chair next to hers and then drew her into his arms. "It was
an accident," she mumbled into his neck. "She was your daughter,
Jack."
He stiffened and looked
into Sam's face with disbelief. "My daughter?"
She nodded, but said nothing and buried her face in his shoulder.
Ernie spoke up. "I can explain."
"Then do it," Jack
demanded with clipped words, "And be quick about it."
"According to what she
has told me, Baal's genetic specialists extracted some genetic material
from both you and Sam and used it to create several girls, most of whom
died soon after their creation. Sam met one of them and named her
Jackie. She was transported up to our vessel when we beamed you out of
there." He paused and laid a hand on Jack's shoulder. "I am sorry, but I
was unable to revive her. The wounds were too severe." Ernie took a deep
breath before he continued and Jack stiffened for the blow he knew was
coming. "However, upon further examination, I discovered that her
genetic structure was flawed, she was already dying, and had she not
been killed, her death would have been most painful."
"Where is she?"
"In the far medical pod,
I was not sure what you would want to do with her body, but felt you and
Sam should be able to make this decision."
"Well, you thought
right." He looked down at Sam who seemed to have recovered some of her
composure. "I want to see her."
"Of course," Thor nodded his approval.
"I'd like to go too, if
that's okay with you," Sam offered. Then she turned to Ernie. "I'll be
all right. I promise."
"I have no doubt that you
will." Reminded of the sad circumstances of Jackie's death, Ernie had
lost his bounce, but seemed determined to help out his human friends.
"Thor, do wish to aid me?"
"Yes," Thor's head bobbed
and his long spindly arms reached out to Jack. "Allow me to assist
you."
Jack hesitated and then
smiled. "I think I'll take you up on that offer."
Within minutes Jack, his
fingers entwined with Sam's, stood beside the medical pod, though he
could barely discern the outline of a figure within. He looked down at
Sam who nodded and squeezed his hand.
"Do it," Jack ordered as
if he were a general who commanded his men to undertake a suicidal
mission, even if it ripped the heart from his chest.
The lid slid away and
revealed a child with a dirty face. All care lines had been erased and
she looked as if she were asleep. Unexpectedly, her lips were upturned
in a smile, in sharp contrast to the reek of charred flesh that hit his
nostrils like a sledgehammer as soon as the lid was opened.
Sam gasped and covered
her mouth with her free hand. "She looks like she's asleep . . . and
that smile - I remember that smile." Her voice wavered on the verge of
breaking into a sob and when Jack's hand released hers; his arm snaked
around her waist to draw her closer to him.
As if in a dream, Jack
relived Jackie's final moments. "She said she was sorry, and that she
could see her sisters."
"And you asked her to
stay, but she . . . she couldn't." Sam sobbed and turned to lay her face
against his chest. Jack wrapped both arms around her as she grieved for
a girl who had seen far too much and died too young.
"What do you wish to do
with the body?" Thor sounded almost apologetic.
"What?" Jack's voice
bordered on angered incredulity. "Here I am looking at the body of a
little girl who is dead because of me, and you already want to get rid
of her? Have a heart, why don't ya?"
Sam jerked in his arms
and then buried her face in his chest while her body was wracked with
barely stifled sobs. Jack desperately needed to comfort her, but not
like this. There were too many eyes and too much to deal with. He could
barely cope with what he was remembering, but would put all that away
for later for Sam.
"I am sorry if I offended
you, O'Neill, but we must do something."
"Can't it wait?"
Thor sighed. "It can wait, for now. But we require an answer soon."
"It can wait until I say
it's time. What's your hurry anyway?" Jack spat bitterly, his eyes dark
and icy cold. He hugged Sam closer, protectively, possessively. They
both needed somewhere quiet, some place where they could be alone.
Together they could handle this - he hoped.
Thor seemed to choose his
words with care. "There are those who would seek to benefit from the
mistakes Baal's genetic specialists made. They would see the child's
body as a treasure trove, one they would exploit with no thought as to
the consequences beyond what power they might gain from such a
scheme."
One arm left Sam's back
and he held up a hand for attention. "Later. We'll deal with it later -
after I've had a bath and changed into some clothes that don't reek.
Does that satisfy you?"
"It does," Thor blinked
and turned to Ernie. "Please direct O'Neill and Carter to the
appropriate facilities."
"Yeah sureyabetcha!"
bounced Ernie. "I had them installed especially for you, Jack. A shower
and bedroom, complete with clothes that were made with you and Sam in
mind."
"Sweet," Jack's face
tightened into a half-smile as he bent to talk to Sam, whose sobs had
subsided. He was relieved that the subject had been changed to something
a little less emotionally charged. At that moment, he felt like he'd
been dumped into an emotional minefield, where any misstep of his - or
anyone else's - had the power to devastate him and Sam. "Did you hear
that? They've got real showers here - and a bed too." He leered at her
upturned face and waggled his eyebrows roguishly.
Sam's despair evaporated
as she too grabbed the change of topic with both hands. She slapped his
chest and grinned teasingly. "A shower?" She sniffed and wiped
surreptitiously at her tear-streaked face.
"Yep, Ernie had it
installed special - just for us. It would break the little guy's heart
if we didn't put it to good use."
"That is the best news
I've heard in quite some time," Sam said with a solemnity that just
about broke Jack's heart when he heard the sadness that imbued her
words. He could tell that she'd taken Jackie's death hard, and that was
one occurrence he wouldn't wish on anyone, not even Kinsey. On second
thought . . . nah, not even that smarmy no-good asshole, wherever he
was.
Right now Sam needed him,
she was his first priority. Away from prying, sex-curious alien eyes he
could comfort her. Somehow soften the pain he knew only too well, the
kind that could eat you alive if you let it.
Then . . . he'd deal with
the death that caused her sadness. And perhaps the fire he intended to
light would diminish his own, the sadness he could see but not touch.
Jack knew that if he couldn't somehow do that, he might not survive it
again.
He'd nearly drowned in
Charlie's death. His resuscitation was brought about by a boy's
fascination with his lighter - and a man with a boy's innocence -
Daniel. Jack had no desire to drown in his not-quite-remembered
daughter's death. But he sure as hell would see to it that Sam
didn't.
One arm remained
encircled around Sam's waist as he gestured with his free hand. "To the
showers! Lead on, MacDuff!"
"Tally ho!" Ernie shouted
as he bounced out of the room, Jack and Sam followed close behind.
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