Sam watched in shocked
disbelief as Jack crumpled to the floor. With his collapse her world
teetered on the verge of a vast abyss filled with a chaotic jumble where
there were no rules and nothing made sense. Two important pillars that
supported her world and helped her make sense of a reality that all too
often did not follow the rules of physics - Jack, and most recently
Jackie - had given way under the strain.
This maelstrom was a
place where she ventured only when circumstances forced her there -
events such as the death of her mother and then years later, when her
father and Selmak followed. In its depths dwelt raw emotion - both the
highs and the lows - that a human being could sink or rise to. Even her
love for Jack could not send her there for long. However Jackie had
touched a cord and kindled an immediate - and at the same time
completely irrational - all encompassing love for a child that did not
spring from her body, yet had been created with the spoils that had been
stolen from her belly.
As her mind struggled to
deal with this latest stressor, like a life vest flung in a stormy sea,
a calm voice reached out to her and gave her the anchor she so
desperately needed.
"Colonel Carter, I require your assistance."
As she watched, Jack's
body was surrounded by white light, when the light faded; he had
vanished to reappear in a medical pod on the other side of the room.
Only then did she notice that she was frozen, still reaching for his
body. As if someone had hit pause, she had never reached him, couldn't
prevent him from falling. Self-consciously her arms flopped to her side,
she felt ashamed of her failure to provide even so basic a need for the
man she loved.
"Yes, Thor?" Her head
swiveled - drawn to the voice, as a flower would be to light - and was
very nearly not able to wrench her eyes from the occupied medical pods
to address the Asgard in front of her.
"I require your
assistance in gathering information," Thor reached out to her with one
hand, but she prevented contact and shuffled backwards a half step.
Sucking hard on her upper lip, her gaze shifted from Thor to the pods.
"But I . . . I mean Jack . . ."
"The needs of O'Neill are
being met, Colonel Carter, and you will be informed of his condition as
soon as he is stabilized."
Numbly, she allowed his
long powdery cool fingers to slide around her wrist to lead her back to
her chair where she sat down with a thud. "Well, all right."
With an effort she pulled
her attention back to Thor's request and Sam fastened her gaze on the
Asgard in front of her, the better to shut out other distractions
Although there was nothing she could do to help directly, she could
provide information, a sort of intergalactic de-briefing if you will.
Her private designation for their present conversation caused a giggle
to well up and she stifled it as unseemly and very unprofessional.
Sam had always excelled
in the ability to focus her entire intellect on finding the solution to
any problem. This was just one more, she told herself firmly. One, given
time, she could dissect and solve. And its solution would be a rational
one that would set her world straight once again.
If only she could banish
the very close reality of Jackie's still body in her arms. Of Jack's
frightening reaction, the look in his eyes - his self loathing . . .
She fisted her hands and
felt the bite of her fingernails into her palm. The sting of it helped
her to concentrate on the task at hand, providing needed intel to
Thor.
Lieutenant Colonel
Samantha Carter lifted her chin and stared levelly at Thor, she was
ready now, every inch the professional Air Force Officer and physicist
who had saved her world and his countless times with her innovative
solutions. "What do you want to know?"
"Are you aware of any
explanation for O'Neill's irrational behavior and subsequent
collapse?"
"Let's see." She nibbled
her lower lip as she thought back to the chaotic melee in the hallway on
Tartarus. "He was hit by falling debris while we were in the hallway
before you beamed us out. That might cause a concussion. That was when
Jackie. . . "
She paused and gulped
forcing down the rising bile. Overcome with sudden emotion Sam squeezed
her eyes shut to block out a recurrence of that scene. Because she had a
job to do she ruthlessly pushed away the distracting feelings and images
to continue with her report.
"In addition he's been
under a lot of stress from his captivity." Sam frowned, embarrassed at
such a facile way of putting their experiences. "We were kept in
separate cells most of the time so there is a great deal that I don't
know. What I do know is that Baal played mind games with Jack and wanted
him to think I was dead."
Thor nodded. "I see. This
must have been quite difficult for you."
Sam nodded and twisted
her hands in her lap, disturbed by what her imagination could supply
about just what might have happened to Jack, alone, and unsupported by
her.
Sam nodded firmly and
firmed her lips, not willing to be distracted any longer. She needed to
know about Jackie's condition.
"Yes, it was, but I'm
fine. I have to know about Jackie. What's taking so long?" Sam twisted
in the chair to stare in Ernie's direction.
"Give him time." Thor
paused and blinked, as if unsure how to continue. "Who . . . exactly is
Jackie?"
Sam turned back to Thor,
the pods reflected in his large dark eyes. With a deep breath she shoved
away the emotion that threatened to bubble up to drown out reason again.
"It's kind of a long story." She temporized and hoped he wouldn't ask
for details.
"I have time to listen,"
Thor replied. "O'Neill referred to her as his daughter."
"He did?" Sam licked her
lips, for some reason confused he would admit that. "Oh yeah, I guess he
did. Well, like I said, it's a long story." She really didn't want to go
there but Thor looked like he was about to blow a gasket, or whatever
the Asgard did when they were ready to lose it, so she continued. "Baal
wanted access to the Ancient gene and the abilities that go along with
it. Since Jack wasn't cooperating with him, Baal decided to make another
. . . Jack. One he could control."
"So the child is a clone?"
"Not exactly," Sam cocked
her head to one side as her scientific mind took over. It was easier to
explain it this way, science didn't feel, couldn't be violated, and
didn't die on the table.
"He used Jack's sperm and
my eggs to create Jackie. From what she told us, his specialists created
eight girls that were close genetic duplicates of Jack, only female. I
guess Baal thought females would be easier for him to control than
males. His only concern was that they possessed the gene."
"I see. Where are the other children?"
"According to Jackie, they died."
"That is unfortunate. You said that you were uninjured?"
"Uh, yeah," Sam rubbed
one arm with her fingers the better to relax tensed muscles; only she
could feel them tighten, as if trying to push her around in the
direction of the pods. "Outside of the injections to produce more eggs
and the actual operation to harvest them, Baal pretty much ignored
me."
"The operation?"
"I don't remember much
about that, according to what I was told, I . . ." Her voice trembled
and then took on a dead flattened tone; she vividly remembered the look
on Jack's face when he'd told her about it. "I did not survive the
procedure but was revived in the sarcophagus. Jack said Baal agreed to
this in exchange for his cooperation."
Even with the knowledge
that Jack had no choice - that still made her angry. And just as
suddenly it made Sam sad. Why couldn't he ever get a break?
She blinked several times
to clear her eyes of suspicious moisture and then ducked her head. "Why
do you ask?"
Her problems were minor
compared to his. She should be thinking about Jackie. She had to be
okay. If Jackie didn't make it . . . She had to be okay, she just had
to.
"You need to be medically examined before we go further."
"But I feel fine," Sam
protested, and sneaked a peek in Jackie's direction. Anyone could see
she was fine, it was Jack and Jackie who needed help, not her.
"Nonetheless, I must
insist," Thor was adamant and waved her toward an empty medical pod,
once she was on her feet.
"Well, I . . ." Sam
wavered, and let herself take an errant step toward the other pods,
still unsure. Their conversation was interrupted by another Asgard whose
head popped up from a medical pod console.
"Tell her it's an order,
Thor," Ernie piped up; his stern tone brooked no argument, even as his
large dark eyes languidly blinked - a study in opposites. "The humans
have been dropping like flies ever since we beamed them aboard and
she'll be examined if I have to sedate her and drag her to the pod
myself." Then he returned to his console.
Sam sucked in her breath
and marveled at how much the little Asgard physician sounded like Jack
and smothered a smile with one hand. "Since you put it that way . .
."
Accompanied by Thor, she
started toward the empty pod. With every step her eyes devoured Ernie
and the other pods, soaking in as much information as possible.
Thor blinked several
times as if taken by surprise by Ernie's threat, "He does have a way of
getting his point across."
"You can say that again,"
Sam muttered as she climbed into the pod and stretched out inside it.
But she found she could not get comfortable and fidgeted, worried about
her daughter, anxious to hear her voice.
"Before you repeat what
you said, Thor, that was just another colorful metaphor," chimed in
Ernie who now stood next to Sam's pod, "meant to emphasize that she
agreed with your statement."
"I was aware of that," Thor objected with some affront.
"Just checking," Ernie
continued blithely, seemingly unconcerned that he might have just
insulted the Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet. His long fingers
pressed several touch pads on the pod console and lights flickered
on.
"If you need my
assistance I can be reached on the bridge," Thor blinked and then patted
Sam's shoulder awkwardly.
"Um, thanks for
everything, Thor," Sam smiled nervously and tried to calm herself, but
felt her attention drawn irresistibly toward Jackie's pod. "We couldn't
have gotten out of there without your help."
Thor inclined his head
and then turned to leave. Once he was out of sight, Ernie turned his
attention back to Sam.
"Lie still while I scan you, Sam" Ernie suggested.
"Oh, okay. I suppose I
can do that," she replied with a smile, anxious to get the exam over
with and Ernie's attention back on Jackie where it could do the most
good.
"Piece of cake, right?"
Ernie bobbed his head with a hint of a smirk on his face. Or at least,
that was what Sam deduced the unusual expression was meant to be. It
certainly was not one she'd seen Thor use.
A vertical bar of light
started at Sam's head and traversed the length of her body, then
reversed itself when it had reached her feet. When it had reached the
tip of her head, it disappeared.
"Hmm," Ernie studied his console and pressed more buttons.
"Well? Am I all right?"
"Yes, you appear to be in
perfect health, which is a surprise considering what you've been
through."
"What about my . . ." Sam
paused, suddenly shy with unaccustomed modesty and patted her lower
abdomen with both hands. "My . . . you know."
"I overheard your
conversation with Thor. You are concerned that permanent damage might
have been done to your reproductive system?"
"Yes, that's it." Sam's
hands curled protectively across her middle as if she could somehow
prevent the violation that had already occurred.
"I detect no residual scarring."
Sam sighed with relief
and patted her belly. "Thank goodness, I was afraid that I . . ."
"Luckily the sarcophagus
was able to repair the damage that was done to you."
The physical damage -
yes. As for the emotional . . . that was a question Sam could not answer
and she shied away from examining it too closely. She had other - more
important - concerns at present. She promised herself that she would
deal with that fiasco later - much, much later.
"What about Jackie? Can't
you tell me anything?"
Ernie's ebullient manner
seemed to deflate. "Yes, I'm afraid that I can tell you something, Sam.
The damage to her was too great, I'm sorry, but she is dead."
Sam's world - along with
her heart - seemed to contract at the Asgard physician's words.
"Dead?"
"Yes, I was unable to revive her."
"Let me see her." Her
tone made it clear that this was a demand not a request.
"Of course." Ernie
extended his hand to Sam. "If you take my hand, I will assist you
up."
Sam took his hand gratefully. "Thanks, Ernie."
Her feet felt numb as she
stood and swayed for a moment. Ernie's hand at her elbow steadied her
and she nodded her thanks. Her mind whirled around the finality of
Ernie's pronouncement, examined it and rejected it. It could not be so.
She'd applied the life-saving skills until expert medical care was
available - just as she'd been taught. But she must have done something
wrong, very wrong. This just could not be true.
Like an automaton, her
legs carried her body to the medical pod where Jackie lay, silent and
unmoving. Sam's trembling hand reached out to brush away an errant
strand of hair that fell across Jackie's dirt-smudged forehead.
"She looks so peaceful -
like she's asleep." Sam's voice was infused with all the hope and love
that she could possibly project into it. "Jackie?" She laid her hand
gently on the child's shoulder and shook her. "I'm here, please wake
up."
"She cannot hear you,"
Ernie's voice was soft with compassion. "I tried everything I could."
"Are you sure?" Her words
were hard and unyielding, ready to blame anyone and everyone for this
tragedy.
"Yes, I am sorry. Her wounds were too severe."
"I don't believe you, try
something else," she pleaded, her voice hard with disbelief. This could
not be happening.
Ernie shook his head. "I am very sorry, Sam. But there is nothing
more I can try. She is gone."
"No, it can't be," Sam whispered. "It can't be."
She buried her head in
Jackie's hair and breathed in the essence of little girl that was
spoiled by the stench of charred flesh. She jerked away but the smell
acted as a trigger and for a moment she was transported back to the
scene in the hallway, her widened eyes glazed as the horrific images
scrolled past - molasses slow.
"The Warriors were
shooting at me, and Jack too. She . . . Jackie got in the way . . ."
Sam's voice trailed off as if in a daze as she caressed Jackie's cheek
lightly with her fingers.
"You mentioned she had sisters?"
Sam welcomed the
distraction and turned toward Ernie, but her hand seemed reluctant to
lose the physical contact, as if she was afraid her daughter's body
might disappear without her touch to anchor her there.
"Yes, she said there were
originally eight of them, but her sisters died. She didn't say why." She
smiled tenderly as she continued to stroke the girl's smooth cheek.
"When I first saw her, she showed me a tattoo on the underside of her
arm and said it was her name - AGT four of eight. I told her that was no
name for a girl and gave her the name of Jackie. It seemed to fit
her."
Jackie was so much like
Jack; those delicate freckles that powdered her face were the same ones
that he possessed. She had delighted in their discovery, for one had to
peer closely to see their ghosts in the dark tan of his face - very
closely. And she had taken each opportunity in their newfound intimacy
to memorize every detail of his ruggedly handsome face.
"While scanning Jackie, I
discovered that her cell structure was inherently unstable."
"What do you mean?" That
grabbed Sam's attention and her scientific mind took over, shunting
aside the troublesome feelings for the safety of factual data.
"Jackie was already
dying; in fact she was on borrowed time."
"Do you know why?"
"I believe it was due to
changes made to the DNA when she and her sisters were created."
"So, she would not have
survived?" Sam swallowed hard as her mind struggled to digest this
unwanted information. She and Jack had suffered so much already, and now
this. How does one cope with this? How could one hope to?
"No, I'm sorry. There was
nothing anyone could have done."
Sam's mind whirled, this
could not be happening, not to her, not to Jack, she vowed with sudden
anger. Her next words were spat out, like the rounds of a P-90 on
automatic fire. "No, I won't accept that, Ernie. You were able to save
Jack's clone, so why not Jackie? Or isn't she worth your bother?"
"I'm very . . ." Ernie
began and patted Sam's shoulder but she jerked away from it.
"And don't you dare tell
me you're sorry - again!" Her eyes flashed - her blue irises completely
hidden by dilated pupils as the adrenaline sang through her veins.
"Don't tell me you can't save her. All your knowledge and technology and
you can't save her?"
Sam's vision narrowed as
her mind fastened on something, anything that would prove Ernie wrong.
"There must be something wrong with this pod's instruments. Did you
check them out?"
"Of course, but I . . ."
Ernie raised both hands in a defensive gesture.
"Well, check them again,"
Sam pounced on his hesitation with all the fervor of a mother out to
resurrect her dead child. "Of all the incompetent . . ."
Her breathing came in
rapid gasps, timed so that she could continue her verbal assault on the
hapless Asgard in charge of her daughter's care. She shouted, "How dare
you take chances with my daughter's life!"
Then with both hands, she
shoved him away from the pod; her attack took Ernie by surprise and
knocked him off balance. Once that barrier to her child's medical care
was out of her way, Sam slipped her arms under the Jackie's body and
lifted her out of the pod.
"You never cared about
her, she's just a stupid human," she muttered to herself as she cradled
Jackie's unresisting body in her arms. "Not like I do."
Then she bent to kiss her
daughter's forehead and crooned, "Yes, everything's going to be all
right, Jackie. You wait and see."
Sam looked around her
wildly, it was so hard to concentrate, her thoughts were jumbled and
nothing made sense. How could Ernie be so careless with her daughter's
care?
Then her eyes lit up as
an idea occurred to her. The perfect solution to her problem was back on
Tartarus. Though she'd only seen it briefly, she knew Baal had at least
one because he'd used it on her. Jack had told her so.
"Of course! Why didn't I
think of it before?" Sam's lips curled in a smile of joy and triumph and
she gazed with newfound hope at the slack face of the child she carried
in her arms.
"Please put the child
down, Samantha Carter," urged Ernie, in a low voice from behind her.
Since for whatever reason, the Asgard physician did not seem to have
Jackie's best interest at heart, Sam ignored him. She and Jack, stupid
humans that they were, had saved their superior asses before. They
weren't smart enough to see beyond their blinders, but she was.
"No, since you couldn't
be bothered with her care, I'll do this myself. I'll transport back down
to Tartarus and revive her in Baal's sarcophagus," Sam snarled her
response and didn't even bother turning to say the words to Ernie's
face. She didn't - couldn't trust him to see the solution right in front
of him - not with the welfare and life of her daughter at stake.
A sudden pressure on her
arm and a hissing sound drew her attention. Sam swiveled in place,
Jackie's dangling legs flopped lifelessly against her thighs, to
discover the culprit, Ernie. Now in front of her, he stood with an
instrument in his hand that looked suspiciously like a hypodermic of
some sort. Her scientific mind slowed as it tried to sort out the
implications of this newest development.
"Ernie? Why . . ." Her
voice wavered as her knees trembled underneath Jackie's weight. Why
would he betray her now?
"I am very sorry I had to
do this, Samantha Carter. But you must not leave."
As her legs folded,
everything ground into slow motion. Sam opened her mouth to scream her
indignation, but nothing emerged. Her fingers scrabbled frantically and
found Jackie was still there, cuddled against her. Speckles of gray
clouded her eyes and morphed into a black void that sucked her down into
its depths.
Nooo . . . !
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