A Series of Hijackings by Dinkydow

Chapter Four

When I my eyes opened once more, I knew with a grim certainty that I needed to do something to end it all, one way or the other. I'd admitted to myself that I couldn't keep up this deadly game of 'hide-and-go-seek' with Ba'al indefinitely. For one thing, if I hoped to ever catch some halfway decent zees, I had to discover some means of keeping that snake out of my head, literally as well as figuratively. A good nights sleep had always been a powerful motivator in my book, maybe it was because it didn't happen to me very often. So, on the few occasions when I awoke feeling rested and refreshed, it was a welcome surprise. My other motive to terminate that Snake centered around my mini-me, John. As long as Ba'al was still out there and a threat, there was nowhere on Earth, or anywhere else for that matter, that he would be safe from harm.

Hammond's suggestion that I hang out with the Asgard for a while didn't sit well with me at all. I've always been an action sort of guy, and the idea of me cowering in fear behind my little gray friends was repugnant to me. My friends, Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c were there to greet me.

"Hey, kids, whatcha doin'?" I smiled as I levered myself up in bed. If I were to convince my friends of my ability to knock off Ba'al, I'd have to look the part first. That meant I had to prove that I was healthy enough to get out of bed. They seemed surprised to see that I was so obviously alert and on the ball. All except Teal'c, that is. Hell, he'd probably already figured out what I was up to.

"Hi, Sir. You just took us by surprise, that's all. Ernie didn't think you'd be awake for some time, yet," she explained apologetically.

"Well, I guess he was wrong about that. Wasn't he?" I commented dryly.

"Sir?"

"Forget it, Carter," I advised softly.

"Jack, is there something wrong?" asked Daniel with a worried frown.

"Nope. Should there be?"

"Well, I was kind of hoping you could tell me. You seem to have something on your mind, that's all," he said defensively. I kept the sarcastic remark that was on the tip of my tongue to myself. These guys were my friends, after all, and didn't deserve to be yelled at, especially since they weren't the ones I was pissed off at in the first place.

"Hey, Ernie!" I yelled into the air. Sure enough, it got his attention. The little gray alien came bouncing through the door.

"I need the rest of my clothes, buddy. A pair of pants is nice for a start, but I really need a shirt and some shoes too." Then I switched gears and looked at my team. "Hey kids, did you by any chance bring along a change of clothes for me?"

All the orders and questions I was firing at them gave me the results I'd hoped for. Everyone hopped to it and got me what I wanted with no arguing and no questions asked. Tactics of Diversion 101. Sweet.

"Sir, we brought along a couple sets of BDU's for you to change into. Daniel, you remember where they are, don't you?" asked Major Carter.

"Sure, Sam. Why don't I go get them while you update Jack on the latest news from Hammond?" Giving me a tentative smile and farewell wave, he was out the door.

"Jack O'Neill, Are you truly as healthy as a horse or are you just pulling my leg? I must warn you that I will not put up with you passing out on our vessel someplace. I do not wish to have to drag your sorry ass back in here. Do you have a handle on what I am trying to tell you?" demanded Ernie.

"Yep. Now scoot and tell Thor that I'm calling a meeting in the Briefing Room. I'll meet you all there as soon as I'm decent, pal," I advised with a smile. Damn, but Ernie was getting to sound more and more like Janet Fraiser every day.

"Very well, Jack O'Neill, I will inform Thor of the meeting, but I meant what I said," he warned as he bounced out of the room.

"Carter? What did Hammond have to say?"

"Sir, General Hammond told me to tell you that John is safe. In fact..."

"Ack! Stop! Don't tell me where he is, because I can't know that. If Ba'al should get his hands on me, I'd end up spilling the beans about that too, so just don't say anything more about him. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, Sir, I understand, but I don't like it."

"Well, that makes two of us, but what does that have to do with anything? I'd really like to know where John is, but until the threat of Ba'al is neutralized, I'm one huge honkin' security risk," I advised firmly. "Ahh, Daniel, just in time. Carter, if you don't mind, we can continue this conversation later, because I need some privacy to get decent. Unless you were planning on getting a free show?" I suggested playfully with a waggle of my eyebrows.

"Yes, Sir. I mean...no, Sir... I'll be going now, Sir" she stuttered as she backed out the door. Daniel and Teal'c were still in the room with me. Crap. Couldn't these guys take a hint?

"Guys, don't ya think you're carrying this buddy thing a little too far? I've been doing this since I was two and I prefer to get dressed without an audience. So if you don't mind..."

"I shall remain with you, General O'Neill," advised Teal'c stubbornly. What the...? Daniel was backing out of the room and looked nervous. At least he was leaving, though.

"Umm, I'll just leave you two so you can get this settled and meet you both in the Briefing Room later." Then he tucked his tail between his legs and all but ran out the door. Teal'c had stationed himself at the closed door in the parade-rest position. From his stance and the expression on his face, he looked as immovable as the Rock of Gibraltar.

"Get what settled, Teal'c?"

"Because of your present vulnerability to attack, General Hammond issued orders that a bodyguard accompany you at all times. I believe I am best suited to carry out these duties, as did your General Hammond of Texas."

"Oh, for crying out loud! You're my bodyguard? Well, Teal'c, you can forget it! I don't' need no damned bodyguard, so I am rescinding those orders. As of NOW!" Teal'c didn't move a muscle.

"Teal'c? I am ORDERING you to get the hell out of here so I can get dressed. I'll meet you later in the Briefing Room." He didn't even blink and obviously wasn't going to leave. Crap.

"Oh, for crying out loud. Here I am a Brigadier General in the United States damned Air Force and I've got a fricking babysitter," I muttered. Even though I could understand the rationale behind the orders Hammond had issued, that didn't mean I had to like them.

With a sigh of frustration, I continued to get my clothes on and sneaked a peek at Teal'c when I thought he wasn't looking. Didn't catch him though. Not looking, that is. Damn, but he was good, which was in all probability the precise reason why Hammond had chosen him for the thankless job of playing nursemaid to a cantankerous old fart like me. My former CO had known precisely how I'd react to his orders too, as had the rest of my team. No wonder Daniel had been in such a hurry to get out of the room. The wimp. With a flourish, I put the final knot in my laces and bloused my pants. Then I was striding toward the door, and heaven help the poor slob who got in my way.

"Ya coming, Teal'c?" I snarled as I stomped past him and out into the hallway. The effect was spoiled though, when I turned the wrong way and had to be given directions by my babysitter.

"For crying out loud," I grumbled. "Who designed these ships anyway? A man could get lost just going to the can."

Fortunately, for both of us, it didn't take long to reach the Briefing Room. When we both walked in, the eyes of Carter and Daniel could be observed scrutinizing us. They were probably checking us both for gaping wounds and broken bones...the cowards. Thor and Ernie were already there. I took one of the chairs that remained empty, while Teal'c took up his guard position behind me. I could almost hear him snapping back into the parade-rest position. Crap, but this bodyguard stuff was getting old fast.

"Glad you all could make it, guys. I thought it was time to quit dicking around and do something about a certain reptile by the name of Ba'al. So, I'm calling a council of war to work out a strategy for neutralizing that scum-sucking, slimy-assed Snake," I began. Looking around the faces of my friends, I could see that no one looked surprised by my announcement. Guess they all knew me better than I thought.

"Now, I don't know about you, but this Ba'al character is beginning to piss me off. And the idea of hiding out on Thor's spaceship for the rest of my life just doesn't appeal to me. So, I'm thinking that we need to figure out a way to take this bastard out in such a fashion as to ensure that he stays dead this time. Any ideas, folks?" Carter spoke right up.

"According to our contacts with the Tok'ra, Ba'al has strengthened the area around both the fortress and the Stargate on his home world. In addition, he has concentrated the bulk of his fleet of Ha'taks around his planet. These ships contain some of the super weapons he inherited from Anubis. The Tok'ra also report that Loki has been spotted but is under heavy guard by those super soldiers. So your theories about the connection between Loki's disappearance and Ba'al were correct, General." Yep, my theories turned out to be right on the money. Hip, hip, hooray for me.

"Well, Carter, pardon me if I don't jump up and down for joy, right now. This is one of those times when I would've liked to be wrong. So it sounds like a direct assault on Ba'al's home world is out of the question."

"I agree, O'Neill. Ba'al appears to be invulnerable while he remains on his planet because of the strength of his fleet and his fortifications. However, should he leave the safety of his home world, he may prove to be more susceptible to attack. The Asgard High Council have informed me that the System Lords plan to meet for their Summit in two weeks time. Perhaps, Ba'al could be attacked at that time," suggested Thor.

"Two weeks is a long time to wait, Thor. If at all possible, I'd like to get something underway before that time. Carter, has anyone been able to catch a glimpse of Ba'al's new host?"

"No, Sir. No one has seen him, and his First Prime, Renek, seems to be the one in charge of everything. In fact, when the arrangements for the Summit were being made, it was Renek who made all the contacts."

"Isn't that a bit unusual?" I asked.

"Yes, it is, Jack," answered Daniel. "The System Lord's always communicate person-to-person when coordinating those meetings. Since they don't trust each other, they make it a habit of making all the arrangements themselves. Historically, they don't even trust their First Primes and Lotars when it comes to their dealings with the other System Lords."

"I agree with Daniel Jackson's statement. Although I was the First Prime of Apophis, he never entrusted me with organizing a summit between the System Lords."

"Sir, according to the Tok'ra operative, Bastet was extremely insulted that Renek was making the arrangements," added Samantha Carter.

"Carter, what does General Hammond have to say about this?"

"Sir, the General advised that you have a bodyguard with you at all times and stay away from Earth for the time being. He's been temporarily reassigned as the CO of Stargate Command until you can return. And Sir?"

"Yes, Carter?"

"The reward for your capture has gone up again. According to our sources, every bounty hunter in the galaxy is out looking for you. In addition, Ba'al specifies that you be brought back alive, Sir."

"Well, I guess that confirms my other theory. Doesn't it guys?" No one looked like they wanted to argue with me. Probably because they knew I was right. Crap. I so hate it when that happens.

"I don't know about you, but the idea of hiding out with the Asgard just isn't my cup of tea. Especially when Renek seems to have the technology to beam my ass off this ship anyway. If he did it with Ba'al's symbiote, what's to stop him from doing it with me?" Once again, no one said anything.

"So that leaves me with just two choices. Either I continue to hole up with the Asgard and hope that Ba'al's pals will eventually get sick of looking for me and run off to annoy somebody else. Or, I give him what he wants." There, my beliefs were out in the open. Now, let's see what they all thought of them.

"That would be most unwise, O'Neill. Therefore, I will not allow you to act upon this foolhardy venture," advised Teal'c. That was one opinion. Only four more to go.

"Are you nuts, Jack? I thought the idea was NOT to give the information from the download to the Goa'uld. Wasn't that the reason why you stuck your head into that Ancients' device a second time?" demanded Daniel disbelievingly. Two...

"Are you finished, Daniel?" I asked.

"No, I'm not, Jack. And I agree with Teal'c. If you try surrendering yourself to Ba'al, I'll do everything in my power to stop you. I won't let you make that kind of sacrifice, Jack. Not when it would hand over so much power to the Goa'uld. Nothing is worth that," he retorted adamantly.

"Anybody else have anything to say? Speak up, guys. Don't be shy," I urged.

"O'Neill, I fail to see any advantage resulting from your capitulation to Ba'al's forces. However, I can envision great harm arising from such a rash act," commented Thor. Well, at least he hadn't asked me if I was nuts. Three...

"Sir, what are you saying?" asked Carter. Finally someone was asking me the right question.

"According to our intelligence, Ba'al is strengthening his forces. But, for what reason? Why is he doing it now and what's his objective? Anybody have any explanations?"

"With the death of Anubis, a power vacuum was created among the System Lords. Ba'al has long coveted the power associated with becoming the dominant figure of this faction. "Because he was in the position to assume command of the resources that Anubis controlled, his goal is within reach now," explained Thor.

"That's right, Thor. The reason we were able to take out Anubis was because of the weapon we found at the Antarctic. By now, it's probably common knowledge that I was the one that got downloaded and operated the super-space-cannon thingy that blew 'Mr. Prepare To Meet Your Doom' and his fleet to hell and back. While I was Ba'al's guest, the main thing he wanted was the stuff I learned from the Ancients. He didn't even bother asking me about anything else. And once I got snaked, he continued his demands for the info I'd gotten from the download. Don't you see? Since I'm the only one who can operate the space cannon, he figures that if he has me, then he doesn't have to worry about getting shot out of the sky That's why he's willing to do just about anything to get his mitts on me again. He doesn't want to end up dead, like Anubis."

"And how does this help us, Sir?" asked Sam.

"Once he finally gets hold of me, he'll lay off everyone else and just concentrate on convincing me to spill my guts. Unfortunately, he believes that the only way to do that is by taking up residence inside my head again, so I'm depending on you guys to figure out how to neutralize his ass once he snakes me."

"Although the Asgard are able to suppress the symbiote's subjugation of the host with medication, this measure is only temporary. Only through the extraction process can the host be truly free of the dominating nature of the Goa'uld symbiote," clarified Ernie.

"OK, Ernie. That's a start. Do you know of any medication that would knock out or kill the snake once it's crawled inside the host? Maybe I could take some kind of drug just before I got snaked. If you could come up with one, it would take care of the threat from Ba'al," I explained.

"I need to research this problem before I give you a definitive answer, Jack O'Neill. However, the idea has piqued my interest," commented Ernie. He did seem excited as he was literally bouncing in his seat.

"Carter, do you have any ideas about this one?" I asked. If anybody could pull this rabbit out of the hat, she could.

"Perhaps the Asgard drug that temporarily suppresses the symbiote could be modified in some way to prevent your takeover, Sir. However, as this is only a temporary effect, we're working with a time constraint," she admitted. Yep, her mind was already working overtime to come up with an answer. From past experience, I was confident that her brilliant mind would come up with something.

"I'll get right on it, Sir," she stated with an encouraging smile. Then she and Ernie bounced out the door. That's right, both of them bounced. Yep, that was a sight to see.

"Now that we've gotten that part out of the way, we can hammer out the rest of our strategy. Thor, while I was with Ba'al, I was told that your transportation device wouldn't work while his ship was in hyperspace and cloaked. Does the same thing apply to 'The O'Neill II'?"

"Yes. While our vessel is in hyperspace, no current transportation device can penetrate our shields. However, once we drop out of hyperspace, we are vulnerable to this sort of attack. Are you suggesting that we allow you to be transported off our vessel?"

"Once Carter and Ernie come up with some way to neutralize Ba'al power over me, then you can permit me to get beamed off. I'm pretty sure that our ship is being tracked somehow, so it won't take too long for them to do the snatch-and-grab thing with me. It'll just be a matter of timing." Thor was following along with my proposal, and so far, he wasn't objecting to it.

"Thor, can you fix it so that no one else goes along with me when they beam me out?" I could see that Teal'c didn't like what I was saying and knew I had to convince him to go along with my idea. The last thing I needed was for Ba'al to have a hostage to use to ensure my good behavior.

"Now wait a minute, Teal'c, hear me out. One of Ba'al's favorite methods of 'persuasion' involves threatening to hurt the people I care about. The last time he had me, he threatened to make Carter his Queen's new host. He also planned to turn Daniel into one of his slaves and make you serve him in his Jaffa Army. I realize you take your duties as my bodyguard seriously, but the last thing I need is for Ba'al to be able to use you as a hostage to guarantee my good behavior. It's going to be hard enough to face that Snake again without having to worry about what he can do to hurt my friends. Do you understand what I'm saying, friend?"

"Yes, I do, O'Neill. It pains me to admit that your reasoning has merit. I would indeed regret if my presence were to cause you to divulge valuable information. Therefore, I will accede to your wishes, my friend."

"Thanks, T. That means a lot to me."

"In the meanwhile, undomesticated equines could not remove me from your side, O'Neill," he promised.

"Now we wait for Carter and Ernie to pull another miracle out of their butts," I smiled and rubbed my hands together. Thor was looking at me like I'd finally lost it, but Teal'c and Daniel just smiled.

"I'm hungry," I announced. "What's for lunch? And Thor. Could we please have something besides those yellow squares and pink triangles of yours? The last time I ate one of those, I had the shits for days afterwards," I pleaded.

Daniel came to my rescue this time. It seems he'd insisted on a supply of human-type food before leaving with Thor. While still in orbit around Earth, Thor had raided the pantry at SGC and beamed up a whole shit-load of provisions. Fortunately, Daniel had sent a hologram message back to the SGC to explain why all those groceries suddenly went missing. The supply chief back at the base was probably going nuts trying to get the incoming and outgoing requisition forms to match up.

While Carter and Ernie were doing their research, Daniel, Teal'c, and I were working our way through a very satisfying meal of fruit, sandwiches, chips, and lots and lots of pie. There wasn't any ice cream this time, though. No pizza and beer either, but we had all the sodas we could drink. However, I was really going to have to talk to Thor about installing a refrigeration unit in his pantry, because warm soda pop really sucks. Evidently, the Asgard had never heard of ice cubes. Hey, if I had to meet my doom, (as Anubis used to say), at least I would do it on a full stomach. In any case, we did save some pie for Carter.

When she finally showed up, Carter attempted to fill me in on the progress they'd made, but I firmly squelched that. I informed her in no uncertain terms, that her news would probably just give me a bad case of indigestion. There was a time and place for stuff like that, and it most certainly was not while I was eating. She seemed disappointed at first, but when I broke the news that a big carton of her favorite chocolates had been included in our special food shipment, she quickly lost all interest in talking shop. After she sampled her chocolate, we all took off for the Briefing Room. Thor, Ernie, Daniel, and Carter were already seated by the time Teal'c and I walked in.

Teal'c and I had been delayed due to a brief disagreement about whether or not his bodyguard duties extended to accompanying me to the john. He seemed to feel that he had every right to watch me pee. I didn't...He won. Maybe if my bladder hadn't been so full, I would've taken the time and effort to argue with him. Let me tell you, the knowledge that you are a second away from pissing all over yourself can be a powerful motivator. Besides, what was I going to do? Throw him out? I don't think so.

I quickly sat down, and Teal'c took up his post right behind me. From their excited body language, I could tell that Carter and Ernie must have made significant progress in the snake knockout drug. Yep, Ernie was bouncing in his seat again. Carter wasn't. Pity.

"Why don't we start off with an update from Carter and Ernie? I have the feeling they've found something that might help get us out of this mess," I suggested hopefully. Carter and Ernie exchanged glances and the Asgard Doc bowed his head to indicate that she should speak first.

"Sir, we were able to synthesize a variation of the medicine the Asgard used on you prior to the extraction procedure. This drug has an extended sedative effect on the symbiote, but still is only a temporary solution. In addition, this drug does not kill the symbiote; it only prevents it from taking over the host. We're still working on a method of dispersing the drug into the body of the host."

"Sounds good, Carter. Ernie, do you have anything else for us?"

You betcha, Jack O'Neill. We wish to assure you that this drug does not harm the host in any fashion. We are considering several alternate methods for introducing the drug into the body of the host. Since the effects of this drug only last about four hours, we are considering the possibility that the drug will need to remain dormant until the symbiote has entered the body of the host. Some of our options might include a subcutaneous skin implant placed at the most likely site of entrance, an oral capsule to be taken by the host just prior to implantation, or a capsule of the drug concealed inside the mouth."

"I think we can rule out your first two suggestions, guys. Neither Ba'al nor that Redneck guy are stupid. They will know that I expect to get snaked once they get their hands on me and I can't count on him slithering in though the back of my neck again. As for me popping a capsule into my mouth, I'd be willing to bet that I'll be strip-searched as soon as they get me down to their planet, if not before. Plus, I can't count on having my hands free to take the capsule. Last time, they restrained me with manacles and I seriously doubt they will do it any different this next time."

"I agree, Sir. Ernie and I are preparing a small transparent capsule that will be inserted in your mouth. We ruled out placing on your teeth because of the risk that you might bite down on it inadvertently. Instead, it will be stuck to the underside of your tongue with an adhesive. You'll know it's there, but no one else will be able to see it. When you need it, all you'll have to do is scrape it off onto your teeth and bite down on it."

"Sounds good to me, guys. Anyone else have any comments about this?" I asked. No one said anything, so I assumed they thought it was a viable plan. Now we had to figure out the next part of this little fiasco.

"Next we've got to come up with a plan of how I'm supposed to get the hell out of Dodge once I've been snaked. Based on what Carter and Ernie just told us about the drug, I'll have a time limit of about three and a half hours to get it done. Any ideas, folks?" I asked.

"Once O'Neill has been transported off my ship, he will in all probability be taken to Ba'al's fortress on his home planet. My transportation device cannot penetrate the shields he has in place around his stronghold. Therefore, a method will need to be devised to extract him from inside his garrison. Perhaps, a small team could be transported to the planet surface for that purpose," stated Thor.

"Nope, that won't work for several reasons, Thor. Number one is because the place is just too damn well defended. Number two is there is there is a chance that the drug won't work and if it doesn't Ba'al will immediately know everything that I do. If my team were to beam down, they would be walking into a trap," I reasoned firmly.

"I regret to say that I concur with O'Neill," stated Teal'c. "He must rely on his own guile and resources to escape the fortress. After he has accomplished this task, 'The O'Neill II' can utilize the Asgard transporter device to beam him up to the ship. In addition, I suggest that O'Neill not be a party to any discussion about the details of his rescue."

"Thanks, T. I don't like it either, but we have to face the fact that Ba'al might find a way to counteract the drug or prevent me from taking it. Once he grabs hold of my mind, he'll be familiar with everything we've been discussing. The last time he snaked me, I was able to hold out for awhile by retreating behind Thor's barrier. He eventually figured out a way to drag me out of there though, so we can't count on that either. Thor, is there any way that Ba'al can get to that stuff from the Ancients?"

"No, O'Neill, when I created this barrier, I constructed it in such a way that it can only be opened with the aid of a key. This key is of Asgard construction and cannot be duplicated in any fashion," he assured me. Whew, that was a relief. Come to think of it, if that barrier could be penetrated, it was better if I didn't know. Just in case. Based on Thor's vague answer, I had the feeling he felt the same way. Well, at least we were both operating on the same wave-length.

"In that case, let's keep it that way, Thor. No sense in messing with something that works. Is there?" Since that issue had been taken care of, I had to bring up a topic that I was certain that no one would like. Well hell, I didn't like it either, but since it was me that was taking all the chances, I felt I had every right to what I was about to say.

"Kids, I'm about to bring up something that Thor and I already touched on. Despite all the precautions we can take, there's always the chance that we'll get a visit from the 'Oh-Shit Fairy'. If for some reason, Ba'al is able to take me over, I need you to come up with some sort of strategy to have me neutralized." The expressions on Daniel and Carter's faces were a sight. Just like I'd figured, they didn't even want to consider the fact that I might not be coming back from this little adventure.

"Carter, I think that now would be a good time for you and Ernie to do more research on that knockout drug of yours. As for you, Daniel, I'd like you to stay, but if you can't handle it, I'll understand."

"If it's all right with you, I'd like to stay, Jack. I just have a hard time even thinking about you dying, that's all," he admitted with a frown. Well, duh. How did he think I felt about it? Carter and Ernie left the room in a much more somber mood than when they started the meeting. In fact, Ernie wasn't bouncing and Carter looked like she wanted to cry. Crap. Once they'd left the room, I turned to address Thor and Daniel.

"This part of the meeting should take place without me in order to ensure that there is no chance of Ba'al finding out about our backup plan. But, I do ask that you take my feelings on this subject into consideration. I know what it's like to have Ba'al running things from inside my head. He's a pretty smart Snake all on his own. The combination of his ruthlessness and the stuff in my head could tip the scales against us in the battle to eliminate the threat posed by the Goa'uld. If, by some chance, our plan goes to hell in a hand basket, you must be willing to eliminate me. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't want to live that way anyway. I've had a taste of what my life would be like, and believe me; I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Not even Kinsey. Please guys, don't let me down. Will you promise me that you'll do whatever you have to?"

"I do promise this to you, O'Neill," answered Teal'c. I turned to gaze at my other two friends sitting at the table.

"I will act in accordance with your wishes, General O'Neill," promised Thor.

"Sure, Jack, I promise," Daniel answered reluctantly. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, guys, this takes a load off my mind," I assured them with one of my cocky grins. "Well, T. it looks like it's time for me to blow this place. If it's OK with you, I'd like Daniel to take over as my babysitter for a bit so that you and Thor can come up with something."

"I will allow Daniel to take over my duties temporarily, O'Neill," agreed Teal'c.

"Daniel, are you hungry for some more desert?" I asked.

"Sure, Jack. Why don't we raid my stash of coffee and munchies?" asked Daniel. With a last glance at my two friends, I arose from the table and walked out the door with Daniel. Thor and Teal'c were left in the room to plan out the details of my potential assassination, and I was secure in the knowledge that my friends wouldn't let me down.

The next several hours were spent pigging out on munchies and drinking Daniel's coffee. Carter had rigged his coffeemaker to run off a nacquada-powered battery. I'll have to admit that he had excellent taste when it came to coffee blends. He'd also included some potato chips and gummi candy. Evidently he'd noticed my latest food craving. John and Cassie had introduced me to it, and once I'd tried it, I was hooked. I think it had to do with the contrast of the salty potato chips and the sweetness from the gummi candy. Whatever the reason, I couldn't get enough of them and had stockpiled my own secret stash in my desk at work.

Later, Carter and Ernie joined us and I got him to try the chip and gummi combination while the Major dug into her chocolates. He liked them so well, that he got into a discussion with Carter about how he could produce his own supply. Yep, my plan to corrupt the Asgard race was well underway.

All of us deliberately kept the conversation light and avoided talking shop. Even though I was aware of what they were doing and why they were doing it, I couldn't help but feel thankful that my friends were thoughtful enough to show me that much consideration. Yeah, I knew that this stuff was hard on all of us, but to my way of thinking, there was no sense in boo-hooing about it. Not when we all knew that the mission had to go down this way.

When Thor and Teal'c joined us, the tension in the room went up dramatically. It was as if everyone there knew that the fun and games were over. Thor informed everyone that he'd spotted the spaceship that was shadowing us. In addition, he'd come up with a way to allow the bad guys to yank me off the ship without anyone else getting snatched too. When he explained his plan, I agreed with it. Since it involved me going to the can by myself, I just hoped the bad guys would do the snatch-and-grab thing too soon. The last thing I wanted was to show up at Ba'al's place with my pants around my ankles. Talk about making an entrance.

Ernie informed me the drug capsule was ready to be installed. Both he and Carter insisted that it could only be done while I was under total anesthesia. I had my own suspicions about that one, but let it slide. If they had to sneak in some other stuff while I was unconscious and fine-tune my defenses, that was OK with me. It was simply another case of me not needing to know.

***

A couple hours later, I woke up in the medical pod. The knockout drug they'd used on me must've been pretty strong, as I still felt pretty woozy. The first thing I saw was Ernie's head. He didn't say anything, just kept watching me. Experimentally, I tried clearing my throat. The inside of my mouth felt all furry and tasted nasty. Carter showed up beside him and was holding a cup of water for me. Because I was still feeling pretty shaky, she held my head up to let me sip at the straw. The water tasted great, got rid of the nasty taste in my mouth, and I was actually starting to feel human again. What a concept.

I still could remember why I'd been put under, and from the solemn looks on the faces of my friends, my time with them was growing short. I'd already instructed Thor not to tell me when it was going to happen. Hey, it was going to be hard enough to do this as it was. No sense in making it worse on everyone else.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Hey, Jack," Carter whispered back. Ooh, she'd called me by my first name. That couldn't be good. She put the straw back in my mouth and I sipped some more water. God, that stuff tasted good going down.

"Thanks, Sam," I answered. That felt weird.

Knowing I couldn't afford any emotional ties to anyone right now, I ruthlessly pushed the feelings it evoked away. For one thing, it wouldn't be fair to either one of us. The most important reason, though, was the realization that Ba'al would use it against me. If he knew that I had those kinds of feelings for anyone, then he would do everything in his power to get his hands on them. When it came down to it, I didn't want Sam, or anyone else, to become his next target. Nope, that was so not going to happen. Not if I had anything to do about it.

Gradually, the fog was lifting from my brain and I was starting to feel a little more in control of my muscles again. Experimentally, I tried shifting my legs to a more comfortable position and grinned when I was able to accomplish that mission. Ernie showed up again at Carter's side.

"The capsule was placed on the underside of your tongue, Jack O'Neill. It is not visible to the naked eye and merges so well with the skin surface, that it is completely undetectable. As the anesthesia wears off, you will gradually regain the use of your muscles. However, until that time, you are restricted to this bed. If I catch you trying to sneak off, I will stick a big needle in your butt, Jack O'Neill," Ernie informed me with a bounce for emphasis. Ooh, was this guy channeling Doc Fraiser, or what?

"Aww, Ernie, I feel fine. When can I get out of this place?" I whined. Might as well play the game for all it was worth. Carter was enjoying it too, and had a big grin on her face.

"You will only leave my care when I decide that you are ready, and not a minute sooner. So stop your whining and shut up for a while," instructed Ernie sternly. Then he bounced out of my sight. Fortunately, he must've gone over to the console, because the head of my bed started rising, propping me up in a more comfortable position. Now I could see more of the room. Daniel was standing behind Carter hugging himself with his arms. Teal'c was standing at parade-rest at the foot of my bed. Thor was nowhere to be seen.

"Good morning, campers," I stated with a grin. Ooh, I had to do something to jerk Daniel out of the doldrums.

"How ya doin', Danny-Boy? Found any more rocks to study lately?" My jab had the desired effect.

"Artifacts, Jack, they're artifacts. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You didn't tell me that, Daniel," I replied innocently, getting into the spirit of the game.

"Yes, I did, Jack. I've told you several times about this."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"Didn't."

"Did."

"Feeling better, Space Monkey?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows. He looked a little more relaxed and wasn't hugging himself anymore, which was an improvement. The use of my nickname for him really did the trick and brought him out of the funky mood he was in.

"Sure, Jack, I'm doing better now. Thanks."

"No problemo, Danny-Boy. Glad I could be of service," I replied with another smile.

"So, Teal'c. You gonna help me bust out of here?" I asked with a smirk.

"I do not believe that would be wise, O'Neill. Ernie has threatened to employ the use of sharp objects against my posterior if I aid you in that endeavor."

"Hey, T. That's a good one, you're really getting the hang of this Tau'ri humor," I praised.

"O'Neill, I was not speaking in jest," he objected. Ooh, he was really good. The way I knew he was still joking was by the way his eyebrows were doing a dance on his forehead.

"All, right, all right," I grumbled. "I know when I'm beat."

"Damn straight, Skippy," agreed Ernie. Now, that was really good. The Asgard High Council was in trouble because Ernie was going to corrupt their whole way of communicating. With my expert help, of course.

"So, Ernie, when can I blow this Popsicle stand?"

"Providing that there are no unforeseen complications, you should be able to leave in a couple of your hours. Give or take a few," he added.

"That sounds good. So what's on the agenda for now, kids?" I was already bored and desperate to keep myself occupied. When nobody spoke up, I added my own suggestion. Not that I was ever pushy about my ideas. Right?

"Hey Daniel, do ya think you could sneak in a cup of your special brew for me?" I asked plaintively.

"I heard that, Jack O'Neill. And the answer is no. You may not have any coffee yet. It would interact with the sedative already in your system and could really screw with your body chemistry." Dammit. That Ernie had the hearing of a bat.

"But, I'm bored, kids," I complained again.

"O'Neill, I must insist that you obey Doctor's orders and remain in bed. I do not wish to pick your wretched posterior up off the floor again," Teal'c admonished. Crap.

So, I settled back down on the bed and tried closing my eyes again. After all, it couldn't hurt to rest my eyes for just a moment. Could it? The 'moment' must've turned into a couple of hours, because when I opened them again, Carter and Daniel had left, leaving Teal'c to carry out his guard duties.

"It is indeed gratifying to see that you are awake once again, O'Neill. Ernie has given permission for you to leave your bed. He has also left appropriate clothing for your use. If you are in need of any assistance, I am willing to aid you in whatever way I can," he assured me with a bow. My clothes were laid out on the bed beside me. It was my usual field uniform consisting of a black t-shirt, and olive drab shirt and pants. Even my lucky 'Marvin the Martian' boxer shorts had been included. Cool.

"No thanks, T. I've been getting myself dressed since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I think I can mange," I grinned as I grabbed my clothes and put them on.

When I looked around for my boots, I discovered that they were on the floor beside the bed. Gingerly, I swung my legs over the side and tried standing up. When I didn't feel dizzy and my knees didn't buckle, I knew I was good to go. So I grabbed a chair and slipped into my boots.

"Hey Teal'c. What now?"

"I believe that Daniel Jackson has arranged for a pot of his special coffee to be prepared for your consumption."

"Sounds great, T. Let's go." So we both walked out into the hallway and headed for the Daniel's coffeemaker. He was set up in the food storage area and was waiting for us. Carter and Ernie were there too. Ernie was munching on potato chips and gummi candy so he must've figured out how to make his own. Now, if I could only convince Thor to try some...

"Hey Ernie, save some for me," I asked.

"Sure thing, Jack O'Neill," he replied. Daniel was already pouring me a cup of coffee and Carter was handing me some gummies. Teal'c and I both copped a squat and settled down for some good food and great company. Underlying the lighthearted chitchat was a common thread of dread. I knew that we all were feeling it, but wanted to disregard it for now. We passed a couple of hours in this way, stuffing out faces and swilling good java.

Thor eventually joined us too, and wonders of wonders, he tried one of the gummies. He didn't turn down a second helping either. Inside, I was hollering 'YES!' and doing my own special victory dance. On the outside, I just smiled. Eventually, the coffee had the usual effect, and my bladder was begging for relief.

"Hey, T. I've gotta use the can. You coming with...?" I asked as I rose from my chair and laid down my coffee cup.

"No, O'Neill. The facilities are nearby and convenient for your access. I have not yet consumed all of my coffee and will join you later," he replied stoically. Crap, this was it. Jack O'Neill was about to be 'placed in a deep state of oh-shit' again.

"OK... See ya later, kids," I replied with a smile and headed out the door.

I got about halfway down the hall before the transporter beam snatched me away. The bright light blinded me at first and I couldn't see anything except gray and purple blotches in front of my eyes.

"Oh, for crying out loud," I muttered as I rubbed my eyes in an effort to clear my vision. Suddenly, I felt a sharp poke in my lower back and heard the unmistakable sound of a staff weapon charging. Crap. When I opened my eyes again, I was looking into the face of a Jaffa who looked like he'd like an excuse to stomp all over my face. So I did my best to oblige him.

My elbow jabbed backwards to get rid of the guy with the staff weapon. A startled yelp behind me was proof enough that I hadn't lost my touch. My legs were already moving to take out the guy in front of me. However, my plan of attack was brought to a screeching halt when I felt the familiar tingle of a zat gun discharging. With a groan, I crumpled to the floor on my side as the electrical charge ran it's blue pattern over my body.

"Crap, I so hate it when that happens," I muttered between clenched teeth.

While I was still recovering, my arms were jerked in front of me, handcuffs clicked into place around my wrists, and shackles were attached to my ankles. Then rough hands pulled me up and I was thrown over some big goon's shoulder and carried off like a sack of flour. From my upside down position, I could see that I was on a Goa'uld ship of some sort as the walls were covered with the usual god-awful, over-the-top, gold wallpaper.

The goon and his buddies toted me into another room and where he dumped me onto the floor. After I was jerked to my feet, the short chain connecting my handcuffs was attached to a bolt on the wall at about chest height. Then, they left the room and a force field snapped into place in the doorway. No one said a word to me as they left.

By moving around a little, I tested the limits of the chain that bound me to the wall. My tether was pretty short, so I couldn't move around the cell much. About all I could do was stand, lean against the wall, or sit on the floor next to the wall with my arms over my head. I could see that a guard was posted beside the door. Guess they didn't want to take the chance that I might try to escape.

In the meantime, my bladder was yelling to get my attention and my eyeballs felt like they were floating. I was regretting that I'd drank so much coffee. Looking around the room, I spotted the slop bucket, but it looked like it was out of my reach. Crap. Literally. Well, no. Actually, it was pee...and lots of it.

"Hey!" I shouted. The guard kept ignoring me.

"Hey, I'm talking to you. I need to pee. Could you help me out, here?" Still no response.

"Listen, I don't know about you, but I don't think that your boss would like me to show up smelling of piss. Do you?" That got a response. He turned his face toward me, but didn't deactivate the force field. God, but he looked ugly.

"Silence, Tau'ri!" Yep, same old, same old. The guard turned his back on me again. Couldn't these guys ever come up with better lines?

"Give me a break. It's not as if I can run off. Just cut me loose from this wall so I can pee in your bucket. That way I'll get some relief, and Ba'al's present won't stink of piss. What do ya say?" I implored. Still no response from Mr. Tall, dumb, and ugly. Crap.

Thinking I might be able to arc the stream and 'pee for distance', I tried standing and twisting my hands around so I could undo the fly of my pants, but didn't have any luck. My fingers just couldn't reach far enough. So, I spent the rest of my time trying my best not to piss all over myself. Let me tell you, it is not on my top ten list of fun things to do. Every so often, the guard would turn around and sneer at me, especially if he heard me grunting with the effort of keeping my sphincter closed.

Eventually, I couldn't hold it any longer, and let loose. The guard just kept smirking at me as I glared daggers at him. Now, my pants were soggy and I stank. Crap. Talk about being the 'soggy bottom boy' poster child.

Several more hours passed with nothing exciting happening, other than the fact that my pants were slowly drying and my legs itched. I still stank, though. So did my pants...and my boxers...and the floor. I managed to sit on the floor next to the wall and rest my head against my elevated arms. After a while, I drifted off into a restless sleep. Thankfully, I didn't dream, because I probably would've had nightmares. The last thing I wanted to was for that sadistic guard to hear me screaming in my sleep.

I awoke when someone jabbed me in the ribs. My guard and his pals were back and were unhooking me from the wall. With brute force, they yanked me to my feet and shoved me forward. Since the chain between my ankles was short, I stumbled and ended up flat on my face. No surprise there as that was probably their whole point. Two goons grabbed me under the arms and jerked me to my feet again. Slowly, I shuffled along between them, as I didn't see any other options. They still weren't taking any chances and had guards totally encircling me. I was escorted to a set of rings and made to stand in the center. Three guards remained with me as the rings whined all of us out of the ship.

When the light from the rings died away, I was jostled forward again by my guards. I could tell from the feel of the floor under my feet that wherever I was, it was on solid ground. It looked like I was inside a fortress, probably Ba'al's. Well, what did I expect? Disney World? My guards led me out of the room and into the hallway. Some of the surroundings were looking familiar, so I guessed I was able to access some of Ba'al's memories of the place. Yep. Judging from his recollections, it most definitely was NOT Disney World.

My guards were having fun shoving me from behind, so I retaliated by jabbing one of them with an elbow. That really pissed them off so they used me as a punching bag for a while. By the time they were finished, I couldn't stand without help, so they dragged me the rest of the way to what looked like Ba'al's throne room. From the way my ribs hurt, I suspected they'd cracked a few, so I was trying to breathe in short, shallow puffs. It helped a little, but not much. Now, not only did I stink of piss, my chest hurt too. This was so not my day. Note to self: never, ever piss off big, ugly Jaffa-types. They will hurt you. Badly.

They dumped me facedown on the floor at the base of the throne thing. Using my bound hands, I managed to push myself up onto my knees so I could get a good look at whoever was sitting there. Just as I'd suspected, it was Renek, and he had an exultant smile on his face.

"Hey, Redneck. Long time, no see," I wheezed painfully. I had the feeling that this particular First Prime still hadn't developed a sense of humor, but figured I didn't have much to lose. What were they going to do? Kill me? Oops. They'd already done that. Several times, as a matter of fact.

"Tau'ri O'Neill, my Lord Ba'al has granted a special audience for you. He has ordered that you be prepared so that you may meet him in his chambers." He didn't move from the throne and I had a gut feeling that he liked sitting in it.

"Yeah? Well, that's sweet of him to think of me that way, but if it's all the same to you, I'll have to pass on that one. My schedule book is full clear up till next... Oof!" Damn, my Jaffa guards didn't hold anything back. I'd really been on a roll there, and they'd interrupted me. I was bent over resting my forehead on the floor, trying to get my breath back. As for those cracked ribs, well they were broken now.

"Didn't...your...Mom...teach...?" I couldn't finish that one either. Mainly, because I couldn't get enough air into my lungs to breathe, let alone talk. Crap, it hurt. Slowly, I toppled over onto my side and curled up in an attempt to ease the pain from my ribs.

"Jaffa, kree! Prepare him to meet the Lord Ba'al," Renek bellowed.

Then, my guards had grabbed me under my armpits again and were dragging me out of the room. I didn't bother lifting up my head, because I knew what was next on the agenda. I was meeting Ba'al all right. Snake to host, that is. So far, everything was going according to plan. Yep, everything was just peachy.

Guess the Jaffa didn't like the smell of piss either because, the next thing I knew, I'd been thrown face-up onto some kind of table and my clothes were being cut off with a sharp knife. Even my lucky boxers went bye-bye. Oh well, I suppose they'd lost the distinction of being lucky when I pissed in them. Hey, I'd tried to tell the guard that Ba'al wouldn't like it if I stank of piss, but would he listen? Nooo. Pretty soon, I was completely butt-naked, except for the manacles confining my wrists and ankles. However, those can't be counted as clothing because they don't cover a whole hell of a lot.

The cleaning crew showed up next and scrubbed me down. Weren't very gentle about it either. I wanted to threaten them with complaining to the manager, but was too busy moaning whenever they washed my chest or rolled me over onto my face so they could scrub my funky ass. When the cleanup crew finished drying me off, they took a hike, leaving me lying there in my birthday suit, wheezing and gasping for breath. Crap, it hurt. Did I mention that it hurt? At least I didn't stink to high heaven anymore.

Based on my past experience, I knew it was getting close to the time when I would need to bite myself, so to speak, and release the snake knockout drug into my system. However, if I did it too soon, I took the chance that it would already be dissipated by the time I got snaked. Because of that risk, I was planning to wait until the very last minute to release it.

When I started coughing up blood, I knew I was running out of time. Fortunately for me, the next shift of the preparation crew showed up with some clothes. Last time, they'd put me in a caftan-type of robe that they'd pulled over my head. Since I was wearing manacles around my wrists, that obviously wasn't going to work this time. They seemed to be prepared for everything, though. While a couple of them dragged me off the table and propped me up, the other ones pulled a black poncho-type affair over my head and let it hang loosely down my front and back. Since it had no side seams or sleeves, the handcuffs didn't matter. They just draped it over me and used a sash of the same silky black material to cinch it closed at my waist.

By now, I was gasping for breath again and let the people dressing me take all my weight as I sagged between them. My weakening condition seemed to make their supervisor nervous, so a couple of Jaffa goons took over and started hauling me down the hallway as quickly as they could. The taste of blood was stronger in my mouth now, and I could feel it trickle out the corner of my mouth whenever I coughed. Gray and black spots were dancing in front of my eyes. And I knew from previous experience, that I was going to pass out soon.

Resolutely, I rolled my tongue around in my mouth, grasped it between my back teeth, and bit down hard. Crap that hurt. Now, on top of everything else, my tongue was bleeding too. Given that blood was already dripping out of my mouth from a punctured lung, the additional blood didn't seem to cause any undue concern to my guards. I just hoped that I'd actually bitten through the capsule, because, if I'd missed it somehow...

Moving my already swollen and shredded tongue around once more, I stuck the other side of it against the opposite set of molars, and bit it again. There, if I hadn't crushed the capsule by now, then it wasn't there in the first place. Nope, don't go there, Jack. Those are very, very bad thoughts. Just concentrate on breathing, Jack. That and staying alive.

By now, I'd been dragged through the throne room and into another room with a black stone altar sitting in the middle of it. It looked just like the previous one where I'd been snaked. Gee, Ba'al must buy those black altar things in bulk from 'Evil Villain's Costumes & Props Inc.'

The priest guy was back with his clay jar. Both him and Renek were standing next to some kind of aquarium-type tank. They seemed shocked to see the blood dribbling down my chin, because Renek turned a little pale. He hurriedly ordered the guards dragging me to throw me face-up onto the table. This time they didn't bother with the restraints. Considering how I could hardly breathe, and the fact that I was already wearing those manacles, it was no wonder. Renek leaned over and grabbed the front of my robe. From the sound of ripping cloth, I realized he had torn away the front of my robe, leaving my chest bare and my manacled hands resting on my stomach. Unfortunately, lying like that on my back made it even harder for me to breathe as I could feel blood pooling in my mouth and throat, further obstructing my airway.

Vaguely, I heard the sound of screeching and water splashing, and then the priest was standing beside me. As he'd done before, he tipped the urn over and the wriggling symbiote slid with a high-pitched shriek onto my chest. Since it landed near my bound hands, I tried grabbing at that slimy reptile, hoping to strangle the damn thing. Didn't get it done, though. Probably because I just couldn't move them fast enough. Renek spotted my attempt immediately, and had a couple of Jaffa restrain my hands. Crap.

I could feel the 'Snake who would be Jack' moving against my skin, and it caused shivers of fear to ripple over my entire body. It was just as huge as I remembered as it started slithering and shrieking its snaky way up toward my neck. Then I felt Renek jerk my head to the side and hold it firmly in his hands.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that the Snake seemed to have other ideas. He coiled up on my chest and screeched imperiously until Renek moved my head to the front again With my head held rigidly in position, the Snake struck and slashed through the skin at the base of my throat. The pain was excruciating as the symbiote forced its way through the gash to burrow its way through my neck to my spine. My body arched away from the altar in agony, but this time, I could only groan and cough feebly. It takes lungpower to scream, and breathing was virtually impossible to do.

I tried to detect any difference from the last time, but so far I couldn't detect any. I opened my mouth to moan again, but no sound came out, only dribbles of blood. I twisted my head around frantically and tried screaming. My mouth opened, but just like before, no sound came out. Coughing painfully, I sputtered and blood sprayed those around me. Crap, this was so not looking good.

Spots were dancing in front of my eyes and I couldn't seem to get any air into my lungs. Both Renek and the priest looked very worried. In the background, I could hear the First Prime shouting something about the sarcophagus. Crap, if they put me in there, I'd lose out on any safety margin I had with the snake knockout drug. That is, if it was even working. As darkness closed in, I felt arms lifting me...

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