Becoming the Fifth Race by dinkydow
Part Two: Diplomatic Jack
Incandescent blinding light filled my senses and only increased the feeling of disorientation I felt. When I could see again, I noted that I was back in the Gate Room of Stargate Command, deep inside the Cheyenne Mountain Complex. 'At least Thor kept his promise,' I thought to myself. I had just been beamed back from the Asgard spaceship that was currently in orbit around my home planet of Earth. Looking around me, I noted that my CO, Major General George Hammond was standing in front of me with a look of incredulous surprise on his face. In fact, it looked like his jaw had hit the cement floor a couple of times. I snapped off a perfect salute and held it as I spoke.
"Colonel Jack O'Neill reporting, Sir. Did ya miss me?" I asked with a smile. I dropped my hand back down to my side after receiving the General's answering salute. Standing behind him was the rest of my team: Major Samantha Carter my 2IC, Dr. Daniel Jackson my team archeologist, and Teal'c my team alien. I deduced that since both Hammond and Carter were still wearing their Class A's, I must not have been gone long. I thought back to the reason we had all been dressed in our best. God knows it took a very special occasion for me to wear my dress uniform considering that those stiff shirt collars and the shiny low quarters were such a pain to wear.
The "special occasion" had been in honor of Secretary of Defense Simms making a speech to the personnel assigned to SGC. We were also celebrating the promotion of my 2IC from Captain to Major. As a matter of fact, I had been standing behind the podium set within the circle of the Stargate. I had just started my speech congratulating her on a well-deserved promotion, when unexpectedly I had been beamed up to join Thor on his space ship. While there, the alien informed me of the need to start negotiations with the Goa'uld System Lords in order to stop their impending invasion. It seems we pissed them off big time when I killed off that snaky bitch Hathor after she put a snake in my head. Not that she didn't have it coming to her. Note to self: never, ever let anyone put a snake in my head again!
"Would you mind telling me just where the hell you've been for the past hour, Colonel?" demanded General Hammond.
Sir, I would love to fill you in, but could we do it someplace more private?" I added. "It's kind of complicated." The General's eyebrows started crawling higher on his forehead as he continued to glare at me. You'd think I had done a disappearing act on purpose. By now, Secretary of Defense Simms had joined us.
"Good morning, Mr. Secretary it's good to see you again," I stated.
"We're going to start Colonel O'Neill's debriefing in the Briefing Room. Would you like to join us?"
"Of course, General. I wouldn't dream of missing it. The President is waiting to hear an explanation for this latest bit of excitement you've had here. Shall we go?"
"Colonel, let's head for the Briefing Room then. You can get checked out by the Doc later." He turned to face the rest of my team, and continued.
"I want the rest of you to sit in on this too. I reckon this could get interesting." I stepped up beside my CO as the rest of SG-1 fell in behind us. I waited to begin my explanation until we had left the gate room. The General had unknowingly just made the understatement of the year when he characterized my news as being "interesting". That was like calling the Grand Canyon a ditch. Great! Just Peachy! I waited until the blast doors had closed before saying anything.
"Mr. Secretary. The President will need to know about this. I just returned from a meeting with the Asgard. Sir, Thor says the System Lords now see us as a threat and are planning to launch an attack against Earth soon. It seems we pissed them off after I threw Hathor in the deep freeze. The Asgard want to help us out and sent Thor to ask our permission to set up a Summit between us and the Snakes. He seems to think Earth could be included in the Protected Planets Treaty. I told Thor I would rather have a fleet of his big honking spaceships than trust the Snakes, but he said negotiating the Treaty was our only option."
"General Hammond, I think I have an important phone call to make. Can I use your office?" asked Simms. I had to give Simms credit, he could certainly think on his feet.
"Of, course, Sir," assured Hammond. You remember where my office is, don't you? Use the red phone with the direct line to the White House." Simms nodded and started up the stairs ahead of us. He seemed to be in a hurry and took the steps two at a time. I didn't blame him. I would be running too if the Commander-In-Chief was waiting for an answer from me.
"It's good to see you back, Jack," commented Daniel.
"Colonel, we were worried about you," added Carter.
"As was I, O'Neill," stated Teal'c stoically.
"It's good to BE back, kids," I answered. By the way, how is the Secretary of Defense dealing with my "sudden departure"? I hope you realize that wasn't my idea, Sir"
"I didn't think it was, Colonel. As for Secretary Simms, I filled him in on as much as I knew, which wasn't a whole lot. Daniel recognized the flash of light as belonging to the Asgard transporter he saw on Cimmaria. Was he right, Jack?"
"Yes, Sir. Thor beamed me up to his ship for an emergency meeting of his own. I think I was even more surprised by it all than you were. One minute, I was starting my speech and the next I was staring down at Earth from an orbiting spaceship. Thor told me our satellites and telescopes couldn't see him, by the way. He says the Snakes plan to send hundreds of ships to attack our world. We wouldn't stand a chance against that kind of firepower, Sir" By this time, we had reached the Control Room. A young Airman ran down the stairs, skidded to a halt and saluted. After Hammond acknowledged him, he dropped his arm and handed a folded sheet of paper to my CO.
"General Hammond, Sir. Secretary of Defense Simms sent me to find you with this note." The General opened it up and perused its contests quickly. Then he turned to me with a question.
"Can we trust the Asgard, Colonel?" Hammond asked.
"I do, Sir. And, I believe them when they say this is our only option. They seem to like us and have gone out of their way to help us out in the past. Personally, I think we should do this," I added. General Hammond wrote my answers down on the note and handed it back to the Airman.
"Get this back to Secretary Simms ASAP," he ordered.
"Yes, Sir!" reported the Airman before doing an about face and racing back up the metal steps. I sighed, remembering a time when I had the energy and the knees to take the stairs like that. We resumed climbing the steps to the Briefing Room.
"What do the System Lords have to say about this Summit, Colonel?" asked the General softly.
"Thor says they have agreed to negotiate with us, Sir. But Thor needs our permission to start making the arrangements."
"Why would the Goa'uld agree to this negotiations?" queried the General as we continued climbing.
"The Goa'uld fear the Asgard," answered Teal'c in an even voice. It made sense that he would know, as he had the most experience with aliens. Especially considering he was one himself. In fact, until we met up about three years ago, he was First Prime of Apophis, one of the Head Snakes in Goa'uld-town. After meeting us, Teal'c had made the decision to join us in fighting the Snakes in the hopes he could free his own people. We had watched Apophis die at least twice now, so I sincerely hoped he would stay dead this time. It had been my experience that those slimy Snakeheads had a nasty habit of jumping into the nearest sarcophagus and being revived whenever we thought we had killed one of them. This definitely made it harder to keep a scorecard on who was dead or alive. By this time, we had reached our goal, and were seating ourselves around the table in the Briefing Room. The General sat in a chair near the head of the table, leaving his usual seat open for Simms.
"Plus, I assume the Asgard would offer the Goa'uld something in return. I mean, that's generally the way negotiations work," added Daniel as he scooted his chair up to the conference table. He was seated next to the General with Teal'c sitting next to him. Carter and I had taken seats on the other side of the table.
"Well, what if the Summit fails?" asked Hammond. My face twisted in a grimace before I answered.
"Thor said that was pretty much the only option he could offer. If it fails… total annihilation." Thor had made it pretty clear to me about just how high the stakes were. Quite frankly, it scared the crap out of me! Just watching the Earth revolve in space below me as I stood on the Asgard ship had reinforced how easily my world could be destroyed.
"The President is wondering how confident we are in trusting the Asgard," reminded the General with a sigh. He knew how high the stakes were too.
"The Tok'ra trust them," added Carter helpfully. She didn't have to add why she trusted them. Having a father who had recently joined the ranks of the Goa'uld resistance explained that well enough. Thanks to his Tok'ra snake Sel'mac, her Dad hadn't died of cancer.
"They helped Jack out when he got the Ancients' language downloaded into his brain," added Jackson. He was referring to my previous visit to the Asgard home world. I had managed to rig the Stargate with a gizmo in order to dial up their address after inadvertently having all the data from a very advanced race called the Ancients incorporated into the brain of yours truly. Now, I'm not against learning new things, but it had been pretty scary when I realized that all this stuff from the Ancients was taking over my brain and quite literally killing me.
"You gotta love them for that," I commented with a smirk. I knew just how much I owed the Asgard. What the others didn't' realize, was that the information from the Ancients had not been removed while I was a guest on their planet. All that advanced data was still there, locked away in a corner of my brain. So far, I hadn't been able to access any of it, but that was OK with me. I hadn't told anyone about my little treasure trove of info because I figured I had a duty to protect both the information and myself. I knew if I reported what had happened to the General, he would be duty-bound to report it to his superiors. And I so did not want to spend the rest of my Air Force career being hunted down by the Snake Heads and the goon squads from NID. Having my brain dissected by a bunch of scientist geeks just wasn't on my list of top ten fun things to do. Just stepping through that Stargate was dangerous enough. I felt no need to add any more excitement to my life.
"But we know very little about the politics out there. How do we know the Asgard truly have our best interests at heart?" continued the Commander of SGC.
"Well, I suppose we don't. But if they have any other agenda in mind…" I was interrupted by a flash of light as Thor, the Asgard in question, abruptly appeared at the table. 'Well, speak of the devil,' I thought.
"Colonel, do we need security?" asked the General.
"No, I'll vouch for him, Sir." I smiled before standing to introduce the others to the skinny gray guy. "Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, you remember Thor? Uh, Thor, this is Teal'c and Major General George Hammond. He's the leader of our facility here." Thor got right to the point, as usual.
"The System Lords have agreed to negotiate."
"That's good news," I replied.
"They will arrive in four days."
"Here?" I blurted.
"It is customary for such negations to take place on the planet in question. Three representatives from the System Lords will arrive by Stargate." Thor turned to look directly at me and continued. "You must be prepared to speak on behalf of all the inhabitants of Earth." 'Aww, for crying out loud!' I thought to myself. He couldn't be thinking what I thought he was thinking. Could he? Crap!
"Uh, well, maybe not me personally…" I felt like turning around to see who else that little gray guy could possibly be looking at. Thor just kept staring at me as if to emphasize his point and I realized with a sinking heart that no one was standing behind me.
"We have chosen you, O'Neill, to represent your planet at the proceedings." Double Crap!
"Alright, now see, that could be a mistake. You see, Dr. Jackson here is an extremely educated and articulate man, very well versed in all the languages," I added desperately, pointing a finger at Danny-Boy, just in case Thor had forgotten who he was. I darted a desperate plea to my Commander. 'Help me out here, Sir!' I thought frantically.
"You have led your people into the galaxy through the Stargate. You are our choice, O'Neill. Further instructions to aid you in your preparation will follow." With that terse statement, Thor disappeared with the customary flash of light leaving me hanging in the wind. The room was filled with stunned silence at the unexpected turn of events. Everybody's eyes were riveted on me and right about then I felt like a bug under a microscope. I smiled nervously while swiveling in place to face my Commander.
"Well, there you go." What else could I say? At that moment my very most fervent wish was that I could have beamed up to Thor's ship with him. I waited a moment and blinked, hoping I would get my wish. Nope, I was still at the SGC with everyone looking at me. For crying out loud, just how the hell, was I supposed to explain this one?
"Would everyone who thinks this is an absolutely insane idea, please raise their hand?" I asked. Everyone just kept gawking at me. I think they were just as stunned by Thor's announcement as I was. My mind felt like it was racing in neutral at a gazillion miles an hour. 'OH MY GOD!' I thought.
Everyone knew I sucked at being a diplomat, didn't they? Daniel handled all the meet and greet stuff. He was even good at it and seemed to like it. My style of diplomacy usually involved shooting off my mouth, my MP-5 or blowing things up using large quantities of C-4. Not necessarily in that order. I thought Thor understood that after our earlier conversation. I had made it pretty clear to him that I preferred a fleet of his honking big spaceships to trying the negotiating thing with the Snakes. I just didn't trust those snaky-ass bastards. Hell, I didn't trust those guys before getting a snake put in my head. I trusted them even less now.
So now Thor was trying to make a diplomat out of me. No pressure there, right O'Neill? Just the fate of my world and all the people on it, that's all. Not to mention that I really didn't want all my friends turned into Snake Heads or crispy critters. The sound of the General's voice reminded me that I was still sitting in the Briefing Room.
"I will be giving you all your individual assignments as we get more details. I reckon I don't have to tell you how important this is. Be careful people. Dismissed." Everyone stood as the General rose to return to his office. I'm sure he had plenty to tell Secretary Simms.
"Uh, Sir. Permission to speak to you in your office?" I asked, trying not to grovel too noticeably. My CO nodded his agreement and I followed him into his inner sanctum. The Secretary of Defense was just hanging up the red phone and stood up when we walked in. General Hammond started filling Simms in on the extra details of Thor's visit right away. I zoned out a little until I heard him get to the part where that short, naked, skinny-assed, gray alien chooses me as the representative for Earth and then beams back to his ship, leaving me holding the bag, so to speak.
"Sirs, I told Thor, and now I'll tell you. Choosing me to represent Earth would be a huge honkin' mistake! I'm a soldier, not a diplomat. My specialty is killing people and blowing things up. I'm just no good at making nice with people. I just know I'll screw it up! Please, Sirs, can't you ask the President to get someone else to do it?" I pleaded. I watched as the two men in front of me exchanged glances and saw Simms shake his head.
"Colonel O'Neill, I know you don't like doing this, but Thor was pretty adamant about you being their choice. I really don't think the President would be able to change that." The General looked me in the eye and sighed.
"Think of it this way, Jack. You of all people know just what is at stake here. Would you honestly trust anyone who hadn't walked through the Stargate, fought and then defeated the Goa'uld on their own turf to do this right? You know first hand how it feels to be forced to become a host. You've been witness to their worst atrocities. Do you really want to trust a desk-jockey to represent Earth with a Treaty as important as this?" I collapsed bonelessly into the chair behind me. When he put it that way, I had to agree that Hammond was right. I didn't have to like it, and I sure as hell didn't. But I couldn't argue with that logic.
"I see what you mean, Sir. Is this what they meant in the part of my job description that reads 'and other duties as assigned'?" I asked sheepishly.
I didn't get to hear my CO's answer because I was suddenly surrounded by a blinding flash of light, again. When I could see again, I found myself back on board Thor's ship. Once again I was treated to the breath-taking view of the planet of my birth. It looked like a tiny round sphere full of blue water, white clouds and green earth set against a background of black velvet. My home planet looked so fragile and vulnerable as I looked down on it from outer space. I pulled my eyes away from the spectacular view to look at the room I was in. 'Wow, déjà vu! Wasn't I just up here? I was really racking up the frequent flyer miles. I wonder if I would get a free trip to Othala if I racked up enough points?' I thought irreverently.
"Thor. Buddy! You rang?" I called out. Mr. short, gray, and naked appeared with his customary flash of light.
"O'Neill, I have been in contact with the System Lords and have more information about the negotiations. I have also prepared a copy of the "Protected Planets Treaty" for your use. He pointed and a big honking book appeared on a table in front of me. It looked like it was jam packed full of long words that only lawyers could pronounce, let alone interpret. Thor wasn't through yet.
"It is important that you study this document so that you may better represent Earth in the up coming negotiations."
"Now, see, Thor. I'm glad you brought that up. I really am so not the right guy to do this. I'm just not a 'let's just talk this over' kind of guy. See?" I heard a sigh from the alien that sounded of frustration, so decided to change my tactics.
"OK. You and I both know I have all this stuff from the Ancients locked up in my head, but I just can't get to it. Right? But, it doesn't count if I can't use it. Plus, it really isn't a good idea if anyone finds out about that stuff. Right now, just about everybody buys my "dumb as a stump" act and I would just as soon keep it that way. Becoming a lab rat for some geek scientist is not a career path I really want to follow, pal. And you can bet your skinny gray ass that both the snakes and some of my own people would jump at the chance to turn MY ass into a lab experiment if they found out about what I have in my head. Don't blow my cover for me, I'm begging ya, Thor." By this time I was squatting down so I could talk to him eye to eye, man to umm, alien.
In answer, Thor raised his hand to display a glowing thingy in his palm. It was the same kind of device the Asgard had used on me before, back on Othala. As I locked my eyes on it, I became aware of a steadily growing pressure inside my head, as if it were about to explode. The pressure was so intense that it sat me back on my heels. The pressure suddenly spiked into pain as, once again, a beam of pure white light traveled from my forehead to end at Thor's glowing palm. When the light stopped, so did the pain and I crumpled on my side to the floor.
Within seconds, I was able to push myself back up to my knees. Thor was staring at me, obviously awaiting my reaction. I blinked my eyes, searching my thoughts and memories for any noticeable changes. The pain, thankfully was gone. In it's place was a sort of dull ache, as if my brain had been stretched beyond it's normal limits. The blocked off part of my mind that had been closed to me earlier was still there. But, I found I knew things now that I hadn't known before. For instance, I knew every word, every wherefore, and amendment of the "Treaty of Protected Planets". Not only that, I understood it too. Now, that was definitely good intel to have. Sweet.
"Thanks for the help, Thor. I'm not sure what just happened here, but I have a feeling I will figure it out later." 'Just like last time,' I thought to myself. "Maybe I can carry this off after all, buddy."
"You are quite welcome, O'Neill. We have been monitoring your progress ever since you first came through our Stargate. Our confidence in your abilities has not been disappointed so far. I know you will represent your planet well at the upcoming Summit." I must have looked shocked, as Thor hastened to reassure me.
"Our surveillance of you has been non-obtrusive and we have taken great care in not interfering in the natural progression of your life."
"Sort of like the Prime Directive, huh," I muttered half to myself. Noting Thor's puzzled look, I just shrugged.
"I think I understand what you're trying to say. You just watching me to see how I do on my own. Right?" Sweet, now I had my very own guardian angel. Maybe he could keep me out of trouble. Not!
"Yes, O'Neill. You continue to puzzle us. You should not have been able to survive your initial contact with the knowledge from the Ancients, let alone manufacture the means to travel to our world for help."
"What can I say, pal? It's nice to know I can still keep you guys on your toes. But, making me Earth's Representative for this Summit is still a pretty heavy responsibility to hang around my neck. Isn't it? You've just placed the fate of every single fricking person on my planet squarely in my lap! Don't you think I have the right to feel just a little scared and pissed off about that? Come on, be fair about it!"
"O'Neill, there is nothing fair about this. The Goa'uld have never been fair in their dealings with anyone. I know you already understand this, just as I know that you realize that this Summit is not just a game of words. The fate of the Tau'ri do indeed rest in your hands, O'Neill. With you as the Earth Representative, your race will not be easy prey for the Goa'uld. With your enhanced abilities, your people will not be fair game for them." With that, Thor, drew my attention back to the copy of the "Protected Planets Treaty", volumes one through infinity. Damn, that thing was huge!
"In order to better prepare yourself and your people for the coming negotiations, I included all rules and regulations governing these Summits. I have also included the names of the three System Lords who will be representing the interests of the Goa'uld. I will contact you later with any other information as needed." Then he moved towards a console, with that peculiar shuffle-glide of his, and moved a shell around its surface. That must have triggered the transporter thingy, because then I was surrounded by a flash of light.
When I could see again, I found I was standing in the Briefing Room. I was glad that Thor had such good aim with that transporter thingy because I would certainly hate to materialize inside a chair or desk. The General must have seen me, because I heard him yell for security. Immediately the door burst open and a group of SF's ran into the room. Their weapons were aimed at me, so I looked at my CO.
"Sir, I'm crushed. Aren't you glad to see me?" General Hammond shot me a glare, so I decided now would be a good time to brush up on my diplomatic skills.
"Sorry, Sir. Thor and I just had another chat and he has a bunch of new information for us about the Summit." I saw that I was holding the Protected Planets Treaty book and laid it on the conference table. It wasn't until I almost lost my balance that I realized my headache was back with a vengeance and I was feeling dizzy. I grabbed a chair and sank down into it gratefully. By pinching the bridge of my nose, I was hoping to ease the pain I felt. It wasn't working.
"Stand down, men. I'll handle it from here," ordered the General. "Colonel, are you alright?"
"Just feeling a little dizzy, Sir," I muttered, hoping he would believe the lie. God knows we had a hell of a lot to do before the Snakes arrived. I heard him speaking on the phone.
"This is Hammond. Get me Dr. Fraiser. Doc? I have a bird colonel here who needs his post-mission exam ASAP. He's been off world twice now, and hasn't been to see you yet." He paused, no doubt listening to his Chief Medial Officer. "Yes, he's with me right now. He just collapsed here in the Briefing Room and is complaining of feeling dizzy. Good, we'll be expecting you." With that, he hung up the phone and grinned evilly at me.
"Doc Fraiser says she's holding a bed for you, Jack and is on her way down to see you. Will you go willingly or do I have to order her to sedate you?"
"But Sir, it was just a little dizzy spell. I have so much to do to get ready for the Snake-Fest and only have four days to get it done in. Please, Sir, I really need to get busy on this and I don't want to waste my time laying around in the Infirmary. We can't afford for me to screw up here. There's just too much at stake." I raised pleading eyes to look at him, but then had to wince as the pain in my head chose that moment to spike again. Damn, those guys inside my head with the jackhammers just couldn't take a break. With a groan, I cupped my face wearily in my hands and rubbed my eyes. That didn't help either. Crap.
"Colonel, which one will it be? Will you walk over there on your own two feet or ride there flat on your back with a needle sticking out of your ass?" Putting it that way put a whole different perspective on my choices.
"When you put it that way, I have to say that I would much rather walk there, Sir. You know how I feel about those god damned needles that Fraiser uses." I could hear a commotion at the door, and turned my head towards the noise. I squinted my eyes to minimize the glare from the suddenly too bright overhead lights. Yep, it was the evil Princess of Pain fresh from her den of torture, also known as Dr. Janet Fraiser, CMO of the SGC Infirmary. Speak of the devil!
"Did I just hear someone taking my name in vain, Sirs?" No doubt about it. The diminutive Doctor and her minions had arrived. 'How could such a tiny woman inspire such fear?' I asked myself. 'By sticking her huge honking needles in my sorry ass repeatedly, that's how,' I answered just as quickly.
"Hi Doc, long time, no see. Miss me?" I slouched back in the chair, hoping to fake an air of pain-free nonchalance that I didn't feel. The guys banging on my head weren't letting up, and my vision was beginning to go gray around the edges. I attempted a weak smile and knew it wasn't very convincing.
"Colonel, how are you feeling?" I felt a warm hand on my forehead. When had it gotten so cold in here? I thought fuzzily.
"Peachy. Just peachy Doc," I muttered.
"Well, you don't look so good, Colonel." The pain in my head abruptly reached an all time high as bright light seared my eyeballs.
"Dammit, Doc. What the hell are you trying to do, kill me? Keep that damned light out of my eyes!" I slammed my eyes shut and struggled to my feet. At least, that was my intention. I didn't make it out of the chair, though. Instead, I concentrated on not puking all over the Doc and General Hammond. I swallowed rapidly to keep the contents of my stomach from making a mess of the General's uniform. Dimly I knew he was bending over me. Now, that just wasn't a good place to be right now, General. Trust me on this. Vomit does not go well with Class A's.
"Colonel, talk to me."
"What do you want, Doc?" I groaned blearily.
"Sir, you know the drill. How bad is the pain, on a scale of one to ten?"
"It was a three until you stuck that damned light in my face," I grumbled.
"And now, Sir?"
"Now, it's a four, no wait, make that a five. Just give me a minute, Doc, I'll be OK."
"I don't think so, son," stated my CO firmly. Then I heard him talk to Fraiser. Funny how I was having trouble keeping my eyes open.
"Dr. Fraiser, you said you had a bed reserved for him? I think now would be a good time to get him checked out."
"Sir, I couldn't agree with you more. Colonel, your chariot awaits." Then everything went black.
I was aware of sound first. I could make out a beeping noise and murmuring voices in the background. With some effort, I was able to identify the beeping as belonging to a heart monitor which meant I was back in the Infirmary. No surprises there. I recognized the voices as belonging to the members of my team. I managed to pry my eyes open. Immediately, I slammed them shut again when the lights seared into my brain. I heard someone moan. Wimp!
"Sorry Colonel. Is that better?" That had to be Carter. "Daniel, go get Janet. Tell her the Colonel's awake." I risked opening my eyes again, and found the dimmer lights more bearable.
"Carter?"
"Yes, Sir."
What happened?" By now, I could hear the tapping of heels on the tile floor heralding the approach of Doc Fraiser.
"You passed out, Colonel.," said the Doctor. I watched as she checked the monitor readout. I tensed, expecting her to hit me with her penlight again and felt immense relief when she didn't.
"I dimmed the light when the Colonel first woke up, Janet. It seemed to hurt his eyes," added Major Carter helpfully.
"Thanks Carter, I owe you one," I mumbled. "How long?" I risked turning my head to look at my audience. I could see that Carter and Daniel were sitting next to my bed. and Teal'c was standing behind them. Somehow, I wasn't surprised that they were all there. That's just something we do for each other. God knows I had done the same for them in the past. The Doc was standing on the other side of my bed.
"You've been out for three hours, Sir. According to my test results, your were suffering from low blood sugar, among other things. When was the last time you ate or slept?"
"It depends, Doc. What day is it?"
"It is Tuesday, O'Neill. May I inquire as to the state of your health?" asked my Jaffa friend.
"I'm feeling better now, Teal'c. Thanks for asking, my friend." I sent him a smile. The Jaffa, merely quirked an eyebrow and bowed slightly.
"Then, I shall take my leave. I shall be in my quarters as I am in need of additional kel-no-reem." After bowing his head in my direction, he walked out of the room.
I did some rapid figuring in my head. Teal'c had said it was Tuesday. That meant Carter's promotion ceremony had been yesterday morning. Thinking back, I could remember having slept a couple of hours Sunday night in my quarters here on Base. Because I had been polishing up my speech, I hadn't gone home Sunday night. This was the same speech that I never got to deliver thanks to the unexpected beam-up by my little gray pal, Thor. I had eaten a sandwich at my desk while working on the speech on Sunday but hadn't had time for any breakfast before the ceremony Monday morning. It was then that I realized I hadn't had anything to eat since Sunday due to all the excitement. No Jell-O, no Froot Loops, nothing. Oops.
"Umm, I think I ate part of a sandwich Sunday afternoon, Doc. I would have eaten more, but it was tuna, and you know I can't stand tuna sandwiches. I really didn't have time to eat after that. Sorry."
Well, that explains some of the test results. But not all of them, Sir."
"Aww, for crying out loud, Doc. Don't turn me into a pincushion again. I just got a little dizzy. A little pizza, some beer, and I'll be just fine," I grumbled, hoping to distract her. To tell you the truth, I wanted to keep Janet as far away from what was going on inside my head as possible. The last thing I needed was for her to find out about my latest session with Thor's palm thingy.
"Is there a problem here, Doctor?" Damn, I hadn't heard General Hammond come in. Just what I needed, a general with stealth capabilities. I watched warily as he strode over to stand at the foot of my bed.
"I need to continue with my exam of Colonel O'Neill, Sir. And since he doesn't need an audience for this, I was about to suggest that his team leave to get something to eat and some sleep. The last thing I need is more work. And if they don't eat and get some rest, they will end in the beds right next to him. But, until I finish with my exam, I can't be sure of my diagnosis."
"Then I think the rest of SG-1 should clear the room. I don't want to see you back here for at least six hours. Do I make myself clear?" He continued in a softer voice. "Go get some rest now while you can, people. You won't do us any good if you don't take care of yourselves. God knows we're going to be busy enough before this is all over with."
"Yes Sir," chorused Carter and Daniel. We exchanged sheepish glances before they filed out of the room. 'Damn, I was so busted,' I thought morosely.
"Dr. Fraiser, don't let me keep you from completing your exam. Call me when you have your results. Colonel O'Neill, I expect nothing less than your full cooperation here. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes Sir," I mumbled softly with a grimace. My head was starting to pound again with all the activity and talking I had done. Crap! Just how the hell was I supposed to represent Earth while lying flat on my back in the Infirmary?
"Good, then I will leave you both to carry out my orders. Briefing will be at 1400 hours this afternoon." Then he strode back out the door to do whatever it is that generals do at oh dark-thirty in the morning. I heard Dr. Fraiser clear her throat and directed my attention back to her.
"You were saying Doc?"
"I need some answers, Colonel. I took an MRI brain scan shortly after we got you here. Your MRI results showed heightened brain activity. I haven't seen this kind of activity since your last encounter with the device from the Ancients. Is there something you aren't telling me, Sir?"
"I didn't get downloaded again, if that's what you mean, Doc. The only place I've been is here and on Thor's ship." Damn, she was getting just a little too close for comfort.
"You didn't answer my question, Sir. Just what happened to you on board that ship, Colonel?"
"Nothing happened, Doctor!" I snapped and sat up straight in bed despite the pain in my head. "Maybe your brain scan is wrong. Nothing happened on Thor's ship that would change me. I'm still the same cranky bird colonel that I was before this whole mess started. Nothing happened! Understand?" I sank back down onto the bed and scrubbed my face with my hands. "If I could help you I would, Doc, but I can't," I mumbled. That little speech had taken more out of me that I really wanted to admit.
"I still need answers Colonel. If you are going to represent the interests of Earth in three days time, I have to insure that you are fit for duty and free of any alien influence. I'd like to run some more tests and do another MRI. I do want to rule out any possibility of error in my results." I heard her sigh, and looked at her. She sounded frustrated and I hated that I was putting her on the spot.
"OK, Doc. Run your tests. But, I promise you, I'll be fine. I just need some rest and some food in my stomach. Thor did not hurt me and I am not under any alien influence. I would give my life to protect this planet. In fact, I already have. So let's just get on with these tests so we can both go back to doing our jobs." Janet smiled and nodded.
"Oh, and another thing, Doc. Could you please get me something else to wear besides this damn backless gown? I need to pee like a race horse and I damn well don't want to show my ass to all those female nurses of yours. Please, Doc? I'll do anything else you want, just get me some decent clothes to put on." I figured groveling couldn't hurt at this point. There was no need to piss off the Doctor. Not when she could make my life miserable, not to mention painful.
"I'll get you some scrubs to put on, Colonel. You can pee in a urinal since I need a urine sample anyway. I don't want you walking around just yet, so no solo trips to the bathroom. I can't take the chance that you might take a nose dive. My nurses would be so upset if anything happened to spoil your good looks, Sir," she added with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Alright, Doc, I'll do it your way. Give me the damn urinal and I'll fill it. But no peeking." She smiled as she got the thing out of a cabinet and handed it to me. Before she left, she disconnected the heart monitor and helped me pull the tabs off my chest. I'm proud to say that I took it like a man and didn't yell, even when she yanked out a bunch of my chest hairs. Much that it is.
"I'll be back with some scrubs, Colonel. Let me know when you're finished." She even closed the door on her way out. Sweet! I hadn't been kidding when I told her I needed to pee. My bladder was so full my eyes felt like they were floating. I made the necessary adjustments to the urinal and sighed with relief as my "side arm" discharged in what felt like rapid-fire mode. Not a moment too soon either. True to my word, I pushed the call button when I was finished and held the sloshing container out to her when she opened the door.
"I think you'll have enough for any tests you need to run, Doc," I said with a smirk. She laid a set of hospital scrubs on the bed next to me before she used both hands to carefully take the smelly thing out of my hands.
"I think you're right, Sir. I'll get this sent off to the lab so you can have some privacy. After you've changed, I'll take you down for your MRI. I've decided this might be easier on you if I handled the rest of the tests myself. Wouldn't you agree, Colonel?" She smiled as she carried my pee-laden urinal out of the room, closing the door behind her. I immediately stripped out of the gown and pulled on the pants and shirt. I was a little slow due to my still pounding head, but I did get the job done. Once again, I pushed the call button to let Janet know I was decent, or at least dressed. My thoughts hadn't been decent since puberty. The Doc returned pushing a wheelchair.
Needless, to say, I spent the rest of my time in the Doc's clutches demonstrating just how cooperative I could be when I needed to. By the time we finished with the MRI, I felt exhausted and felt more than ready to comply with her suggestion that I get some sleep. The pain pills she gave me probably didn't hurt either. I must have fallen asleep before she even wheeled me back to my room, because the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes and staring at the all too familiar ceiling tiles of the Infirmary. I realized I had been awakened by the sound of the door to my room being opened. Janet had just entered the room carrying a tray that smelled good.
"Good afternoon, Sir," she called cheerily. I brought you something to eat before the briefing. It's 1300 hours now, so you have just enough time to eat and get changed before we are due in the Briefing Room. I brought you something I thought your stomach could handle. No, Colonel, no tuna this time," she added with a chuckle. I'll have to admit the smell of the food had my mouth watering. My stomach rumbled as if to urge her to hurry. I dug into the food as soon as she sat the tray down. In between bites, I asked her for any news from Thor.
"You'll have to ask the General about that, Colonel. But you will be glad to hear that your last MRI scan showed no abnormal brain functions. So, I guess you're back to normal, whatever that is, Sir. I've told General Hammond that I will release you for active duty as soon as you get some food in your stomach. I'll send someone by with a set of your BDU's and your boots. I really don't think you want to attend the briefing wearing those scrubs, do you?"
"Doc, come on. Ya think?" I gave her my best snarky smile. "But, seriously, Doc, thanks."
"Don't mention it, Sir. How about I just put it on your bill? Although, just between you and me, I still can't help but wonder about that first scan. You and I both know that those test results were accurate. Don't we, Colonel?" She must have seen the panic in my eyes, because then she hurriedly added.
"Don't worry, Sir. I trust your judgment and I know for a fact that you would never, ever do anything to jeopardize the safety of this planet. Just try to let me know when you have anymore visits with Thor. OK? Those transporter beams seem to do a real number on your head, Colonel." Then she winked at me. As God is my witness, the Queen of Needles herself, winked at me and smiled.
"Sure, Doc. Don't we all have a briefing to attend?" I gave her a sheepish grin. In a way, I was kind of relieved that she had figured it out. I really hadn't liked telling her those half-truths earlier, but had felt like I really had no choice. On the other hand, if my scan was back to normal, I guessed that my brain must have been able to absorb the extra stuff that Thor's palm thingy had released. I did some mental rummaging around to check for any changes.
"Yep, my gray matter was all still intact," I thought ruefully. Though I did make the unexpected discovery that I had added another language to my list. I realized that I now knew how to speak fluent Goa'uld. Well, that was cool, and would probably come in handy in the coming days. Of course, no one but me would know that I could understand what the Snakes were saying, but that was alright with me. It was my firm belief that it never hurt to have a trump card up your sleeve. Plus, Danny-Boy would remain the expert linguist for awhile and I would keep my "dumb-guy" reputation intact. In the meantime, I had a Summit to prepare for and a world to save. Again. Well, it was a living and saving the world certainly beat the hell out of the alternative. Not saving it, that is.
Original Header/Footer Information:
Title: "Diplomatic Jack" Part 2 of the "Becoming The Fifth Race" Series
Author: dinkydow
Email: jd3031@socket.net
Category: Missing Scene for "Fair Game" from Jack's point of view, Drama, Humor, Sequel to "Downloaded Jack".
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Mainly from "Fair Game", mentions from "Thor's Chariot," "The Fifth Race," "Into The Fire."
Warnings: Jack gets mad and uses some dirty words, but nothing you wouldn't hear on the show. Minor Jack whumping but it's mainly mental.
Summary: Jack gets some help from Thor to prepare him for the Summit. It will help if you read Part 1.
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own any of them. Couldn't afford to if I did and don't have a mountain to hide them in. Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions do. I wrote this for entertainment and won't be making any money for it. (heavy sigh).
Author's Notes: Many thanks to Alice and Jerry for their suggestions and for being my betas for this thing. Yes, I love to hear feedback.
