Living With Metal Illness: It's Not All It's Cracked Up To Be
By Donna K. Lay, MS, LPC, CCMHC

Chapter Four: The OCD Bug

I woke up one cloudy morning without the usual dread I feel when I know I am facing an additional day alone, with my girls. I had been given an idea that would help explain the concept of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to my oldest daughter. Once again, God had helped me by inserting a new idea, fully formed and outlined, into my head. The idea was called the "OCD Bug."

My red-head had reached the point in her mental development where she could reason and show some insight into how her behavior affected others. In fact, she seemed to enjoy telling her younger sister to "just be quiet and take your consequences, you were caught," when she was witness to her siblings misbehavior. This, of course, absolutely mortified her sister. Yet, I had not been able to find a means to adequately explain some of her illness to her. The professional terminology was, of course, beyond her understanding, but I felt she was ready for some information that might give her some insight into why she acted as she did.

I discovered I had been given a practical means of describing a very complicated disorder and decided to give it a try. I sat down with my "Boog-a-loo" and told her about the "OCD Bug" that lives in her brain and gets her into trouble. I will illustrate the method I used in the following paragraphs.

First, I explained to her that her brain was the part of her body that was like a computer. The brain is where her ideas and thoughts are formed. The brain controls the rest of the body. For example, if she wanted to get a drink of water, her brain would tell her body to get up and walk over to the sink. My daughter seemed to grasp this idea quite readily and gave me other examples of how the brain controls the body.

Second, came the explanation of the "disease concept." I told her that a disease was something that made her sick, like a cold or a sore throat. In addition, I said that diseases were caused by germs or bugs that got inside your body. Again, she was able to demonstrate her understanding of the idea of a "disease" by giving me her own examples.

Since I had laid the foundation for the final step of her lesson about OCD, I finally told her the "official" name, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and informed her that she had this disease. Then, I explained that this disease lived in her brain, and I encouraged her to call it "OCD" for her own convenience. After all, it is much easier for a child to say OCD than Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

She still seemed a little puzzled, so I told her about the "OCD Bug." I stated that this was a disease that lived in her brain and that it tried to control her actions. I used examples such as: the "OCD Bug" says "You have to pick up that paper or something bad will happen." I emphasized to her that the "OCD Bug" tells her lies that get her into trouble. As I watched her face, I could almost see the relays clicking inside her head. Then, it seemed as if a light appeared in her eyes and she said, "Yeah, and the OCD Bug tells me to steal people's things and to pick my fingers to make blood."

I smiled and hugged her. She had just shown insight into a disease that was controlling every facet of her life. What a victory! For with insight comes understanding, and the potential for change. Her new knowledge had given her the key to unlock the prison that had kept her from living a "normal lifestyle."

In order to help my daughter with the "OCD Bug" concept, I drew a rough sketch of an ugly, snarling, 6-legged bug and placed the initials OCD in red on its chest. I must confess to being a poor artist and my sketch would not win me any prizes. However, my daughter immediately seized the paper and put it in her room. We worked out the agreement that I would say the words, "OCD Bug" whenever I saw her performing her obsessive rituals. She agreed that this phrase would be her signal to stop the compulsive behavior.

My daughter insisted on taking her picture of the "OCD Bug" with her to school the following day. She agreed to tell her fellow students about her disease and how it affects her behavior. She continues to respond to our signal of "OCD Bug" whenever I tell it to her. She has confessed to me that it is hard for her to ignore the commands that she receives from this disease, but that she is trying hard. I can see evidence of this through her own actions. She now puts her hands behind her back so she will not make them bleed. She also has tried sleeping on her hands to prevent further self mutilation.

The fact that my daughter is now inventing new ways to defeat the destructive commands she hears is an encouraging sign. Her valiant efforts show an eagerness to change. She also admits that this change will not come easily. This task must seem to be of gargantuan proportions to her. After all, she is only a ten year old little girl. Any adult who has ever attempted to break a bad habit can attest to how difficult it is to change any behavior. What a courageous little girl I have! With God’s help, I must take care to remember that bravery and courage when my daughter has fallen victim to the "OCD Bug" once again.

A major advantage to labeling the cause of harmful behavior is that people are suddenly able separate the person from the disease. This is true for the person with the disease as well as everyone else. Once my daughter was able to place the blame for her self abuse on something other than herself, she actively sought ways to prevent it. Previously, she could only blame herself for her inappropriate behavior. This self-blame could only result in the reduction of her already poor self image until she felt she was totally worthless. This low, "rock-bottom" self esteem could do nothing but encourage more self destructive thoughts and depression. As a result, the cycle of self-mutilation and destruction would continue on, with an endless recurrence of self-hate and self-abuse.

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Copyright by Donna K Lay
Library of Congress: TXu 934-671